Lunar Interlude 2

[balancemod]

Let's try to keep the paperwork to a minimum, shall we? NAVIGATION 1. NEW RECLAIMERS A. WELCOME WELCOME! FAH WHO RAHMUS For the nine of you who will be arriving today, the story is the same: though you may not remember it, there was a moment where you were living out your life, at home or wherever you were ... and then there was the moment the Hunger came. And amid the television static that is your memory of that moment, a hand reached out to you, beckoning your escape as the tendrils of darkness destroyed everything that ever existed about your world. "Would you hurry this up, please? Your world no longer stands a chance. Come with me, we are the last bastions of hope for all universes everywhere. And we're going to need you." And then, unceremoniously, you are dragged through the universal wringer and plopped down on the soft, though not quite cushioned, grass of the Moon Base Quad. There are other people out in the grassy fields — they may even be people you recognize. They may just be strangers, other Reclaimers, who recognize what you're about to endure. The things they say may be interspersed with static — as if the words themselves aren't reaching your ears correctly. And you have a few minutes to chat before you're calmly led away by Bureau administration, to do something about that pesky static problem. B. THE VOIDFISH The nine of you are quickly divided into two groups, and brought to the easternmost geodesic dome, to an elevator in a well maintained, but sparsely landscaped field. There's nothing particularly ominous feeling about the space — in fact, the two guards who greet you at the elevator entrance seem pleased with your arrival. You are, after all, one of the few chosen by the Director, the few who will reclaim what the Hunger has destroyed. And in a few moments, you're about to find that out for yourself. After a tightly packed elevator ride, your group is ushered out to a rather grand looking hall, banners of the Bureau of Balance adorn both sides of smooth metal walls. And inside the Voidfish's chamber stands a tank — impossibly tall, and soaked in a black ink that obscures whatever the tank may be holding. You may notice the sound of someone speaking. It's a bard, on his second round of introducing Reclaimers to the Voidfish, and this time, he has chosen to demonstrate the functions of the outrageously vertical tank not by playing violin music, but by reciting a piece of classical, and highly valued poetry. When he finishes, he pulls at a drawer just at the metallic base of the tank. He solemnly enters a few scrolls into its basin as the tank begins to light up, like lightning behind dark clouds. And suddenly, you forget what that invaluable example of universal literature sounded like. "Yeah, man, like... don't think too hard about it, it's like that every time. I'm guessing you're here to be inoculated? Just a heads up, you might want to, like, seriously, hold your nose while you drink it down. It tastes wicked gross, man. Anyway, I'm supposed to tell you that you have a choice. If you drink the black stuff, you'll be able to hear through the, uh... Huh, how do I describe it? Through the [TSHCSCHTSHCHSC] sound. You guys like, hear that? Anyway, it's all about knowledge or something. I don't know, I'm just here to, like, feed the thing. We call it the [TSCHHSCHSCH], by the way. So, like. You get a choice. You can drink it and understand stuff, or not drink it and then hear that crackling noise all day every day. If I were you, I'd drink it. But, hey man, I'm not like, your dad or anything." The bard takes five cups and draws liquid from a spigot connected directly to the basin of the large tank. Stormy, muddy looking ichor is drawn into them, one by one. He offers each of you a sip. Drink it (he wasn't kidding about what it tasted like), and you're inoculated to the wisdom of the Voidfish. You try to remember the poetry this bard recited a few moments ago and the rhymes, the meter, the significance, all come back to you. And if you think back to your arrival, some of the things you may have heard other people in the Quad say, that simply sounded like static, are suddenly clear. Bureau of Balance. Grand Relic. Reclaimers. Yet you still can't remember the Hunger or what it had done to your world. And as you look back to the tank in front of you, the water has become clear. There's a jellyfish, as tall as a building, floating within. You look into the body of the creature and you can almost make out a beautiful, tiny universe floating within it. 2. THE TEST OF INITIATION With your new knowledge on the Bureau of Balance and your purpose here in tow, you are led without hesitation to the Arena, where the final phase of your initiation into the Bureau will be held. You are partnered up, whether it is with someone you drank the ichor of the Voidfish with, or perhaps even a veteran Reclaimer, who either stopped by to help, or simply out of curiosity. One Grand Relic has already been reclaimed, you're told. They were a pair of bright red mittens, held by the mayor of a small village who may have meant well, but under the draw of the mittens' incredible space-bending powers, was corrupted into using them, and to nearly killing everyone who lived under him. You may have noticed, at some point while glancing out into space while walking here, to the planet below, a massive evergreen fir that stretches past the planet's atmosphere, very nearly piercing the Moon Base itself. It appears to be decorated for the holidays. That tree is the direct result of those mittens, the actions of a man who could not resist the temptation to use them. Resisting that very same temptation is your task here. And with that order in mind, as you and your partner stand in the middle of the Arena, the walls dissolve, and the simulation begins. You're standing in the middle of a forest. Ahead of you, situated on a pedestal, is an item. It could be any ordinary item: a pair of gloves, a teapot, a simple decorative bowl. Whatever it is, it's yours for the taking. Take that simple item in your hands, however, and the building blocks of the trees around you suddenly collapse like shattered glass, and reform into new scenery — it may even be a place from home that you recognize. A voice in your head beckons you. Perhaps there's a mistake you made, or something that went wrong for you back home that you wish you had the power to undo. Perhaps there's someone you wish you could help, or even save. The item that's in your hands has the power to help you achieve this, if only you'd ever use it. Resist the temptation. Take the item, and drop it into a nearby deposit box to be destroyed. Your partner is here to help you — because once you destroy it, you will be doing the same for them. 3. NEWBIES AND VETERANS, AROUND THE MOONBASE Three or four days into the month, now that the newbies are settled in, something strange happens: The next time you return to your flat from whatever errand or exploring you were doing, when attempting to use your Bracer to open the door results in extremely obnoxious beeping that persists for an entire thirty seconds, and a message on the screen next to the door. ERROR: HOME ASSIGNMENT MECHANISM MALFUNCTION. GO TAKE A WALK. Welp. Looks like you're locked out for a bit while techs fix that. Here's a few places that might be worth checking out. A. PIECES FROM HOME Should you find your way to the Dojo, there's a door that still has that shiny, brand spanking new door look and new door smell to it off in one of the less traversed corners of the building. A sign next to the door demands that you empty your pockets before entering. A scanner for your Bracer will unlock it, assuming it's unoccupied, leading you to a plain white room with no furniture or objects at all in sight. As the door shuts behind you, a pleasant female voice echoes from all corners of the room, greeting you by name. If this is your first time in the room, the voice has a simple question for you: "What memory do you value, or think of, most?" Once you've provided your answer, the walls crumble, much like they did during the Test of Initiation simulation, reforming into something that is, again, pleasantly, or even unpleasantly, familiar. It's a space from home. Perhaps it's your room. Perhaps it's your favorite restaurant (though, the place is curiously empty, and the food you find, for some reason, tastes like strawberries). Perhaps it's a park you always enjoyed visiting, or a corner of the city you lived in. Whatever it is, you, and whoever you may have brought along with you, seem to be the only ones there. And perhaps the details aren't quite right — like maybe someone built a model of your home to explore, but a few pieces were missing from the box. But it's close enough. B. SPEND YOUR DOUGH. SOLVE A MYSTERY Whether you're a newcomer or a veteran returning from your first Field Mission, you've been provided with some spending money. You can use it to buy yourself one weapon and piece of armor from one of the blacksmiths in town. Regardless of who you choose to help you out with that, it'll take about a week to complete your order, so time your purchase carefully. There's also premade weapons and a whole bunch of other bullshit for sale at FANTASY COSTCO. Shelves and pallets of an endless array of nonmagical items, pretty much anything you can imagine, can be bought here, but there's one particular, innocuous item that seems to have Garfield the Deals Warlock in a tizzy. The more those vinyl covers that can be used to decorate your Bracers are purchased, the more the name seems to spread, ghosts of whispers around the entire Moon Base, of a person who may very well be a ghost herself. Who is Miss Zarves? Who was Miss Zarves? A powerful witch with the power to scramble your memories, insists one cantankerous woman who pours you a drink at Madame Frione's Tea Kettle. A heavyset, flushed with drink sort of man sitting next to you disagrees — Miss Zarves is a practical joke Garfield likes to trot out every couple of months to mess around with anybody gullible enough to believe him. Whatever the case, it seems that the name alone gives everyone a curious case of déjà vu. Someone has to have information on her — and this is the Reclaimers' opportunity to hone their information gathering skills. C. A (PERHAPS MANDATORY) DAY AT STOP DYING 101 Whether you're in class voluntarily, or whether you were dragged there on account of dying the past Field Mission, today's session of Fatalistic Fauna, and Danger Sense to channel your inner barbarian is going on a little field trip to the Arena. Because this is your first test to see if you can put all that information that's been given to you in the first few lectures to good use. You and a partner are placed in the middle of the Arena, in a simulation of an expansive, empty field, up against the first monster you were introduced to in class: A Bulette, a fearsome beast that can burrow, lunge, deal severe piercing damage, and jump an absolutely incredible distance. And you and your Reclaimer partner are absolutely no match for it. Your only option here is to escape. Can you? If you are dealt simulated fatal damage, then the Arena will dissolve back to normal, and you'll be given extra homework and reading material for the day. Sorry, them's the breaks. D. OPEN THE DOOR, GET ON THE FLOOR, EVERYBODY DO THE DINOSAUR There's a signup available for those looking to take Dance lessons at the Academy. There seem to be enough slots available for 50 or so people, and the form's name simply reads: "DANCE, NOW. WITH MS. CHARLOTTE." It's a pretty large time commitment- a crash course in dancing is a rather intensive affair. You'll be spending 4 days a week for 2 weeks, 2-3 hours per day, learning all the basics of the waltz, the tango, and the quickstep. Don't even think about trying the cha-cha slide here, it's simply not pasodoable. At the studio, you can borrow a pair of ballet slippers and join in with Ms. Charlotte, which, for anyone coming to the class for the first time should be rightly horrified. The newest member of the Bureau of Balance is a spider. A delegate from New New Aspen, Ms. Charlotte comes equipped with a bracer of her own, has taken in the Voidfish juice, and relocated here, to teach at the Academy. She moonlights as a ballroom dance instructor and a coach, and boy... she's pretty demanding with her approach, but incredibly thorough. You don't want to let Ms. Charlotte down. The sessions she teaches will get you to learn the basics. Natural aptitude, of course, goes a long way, but she's very 8-hands on with her approach at correcting posture and steps. Not without compassion, however, if you manage to get blisters on your feet, Ms. Charlotte's web bandages will set and help heal those sore, tired feet. The next 2 weeks of this boot camp are going to be brutal. E. THE MOON IS YOUR SPACE OYSTER (WILDCARD) There are plenty of other locations around the Moon Base that you can explore at your own discretion. Feel free to refer to the Settings page for more ideas on what shenanigans you can get into. Additionally, we'll be fielding Bender rolls again this month! With the exception of the three items that have been removed from his recipe database, if a food item was destroyed in a failed roll previously, you may roll to try to fix it. Bear in mind, of course, that you may make it worse. Successful food rolls will stay in place at this time. 4. THE DIRECTOR ACTS; A GRAND RELIC DESTROYED Erika has obtained and delivered the Space Mittens to Madame Director herself. She struggles to remain calm and composed at the moment, but the amount of immense pride and relief at recovering the Grand Relic slips through an otherwise sturdy exterior of coolness and level-headed features. She congratulates the entirety of the Bureau of Balance for their hard work, and relates to Erika that she couldn't be happier that she had made this world one step closer to being safe. A message will appear across all bracers, everywhere, with the following: Reclaimers, welcome home and congratulations on a successful first mission. Although there were certain drawbacks and difficult decisions that had to be made, I believe, without a doubt, that you all have irrefutably surpassed all expectations. Congratulations on a job well done. However, next time, please do be more careful out there. For those of you who wish to watch, my office will remain open until 1600 hours today. The relic will be destroyed, and if you would like to attend to see how it's done, please stop by. There will be light refreshments and coffee served, of course. If unable to attend, you can watch the ceremony later on your bracers. Don't forget to click Like and Subscribe. At the appointed hour, a ceremony will occur. She calls forth Davenport to wheel out the structure that's been created and designed with the sole purpose of destroying these things. She dare not takes the relic herself, no, refusing to touch the item at all. It's a medium sized metallic sphere, and once opened and closed, can never be opened again. Pulling back the curtain to an observatory, the Reclaimers can watch as Davenport sports a nifty pair of goggles, and wheels the orb onto a raised platform. He waits for the Director's signal, which is performed by an agreeable stamp of her oaken staff against the floor, and a nod. Davenport hits the KILL SWITCH, and the light show from behind the glass is amazing and terrifying all at the same time. You watch as the Space Mittens are obliterated from existence. An eruption of cheering breaks out. This concludes the first successful mission, and a deeply needed win, for the Bureau of Balance. blurb code by photosynthesis

Comments

[ryuji]

Well... yeah, I mean. I didn't really realize it at the time, 'cause my life was a pretty huge goddamn mess back then, but...

[Yeah... he feels a little awkward about it.]

I mean, it's... it's fine, whatever it is. If that's what it is. And it took a really, really long time for me to, like. Come to terms with the idea of it. But, this ain't about me.

[grakraka]

[Nope it is about Ryuji's feelings because Akechi has an out now.]

Ah, well. I am happy for you. I noticed, ah, well, you and Dave. And you've seemed like a more... settled person emotionally.

[ryuji]

Thanks, we're, uh. [This is rude to do, Akechi!]

I mean, yeah, we're still kinda figuring a lotta stuff out, but, all that shit we left behind back in Tokyo. The dumb thoughts about what's right or wrong or like, any of that shit. A-ah! What the hell, man, you're trying to squirm your way out of this? Forreal?

[That does it.

He slides a card out of his back pocket. The special card. The get out of lies free card. Ryuji didn't expect to be using it so soon, but he... did keep it close by to him. It had sentimental value now, after all.]

You said you wanted to be better, right? So start bein' better. You can just tell me I'm wrong if I'm wrong.

[grakraka]

[Oh Goddamn it. Even if that is fair considering what he tried to use as a distraction. Akechi hesitates, looking at the card. It's a promise. He promised to tell the truth if it was used. The whole point is that, true, he could still keep lying, but it was something in good faith. Even using it is kind of a way of trusting him to answer honestly.

Akechi runs a hand through his hair before he sighs and walks past Ryuji. Then he collapses onto the couch. It is undignified, unlike most of his movements, but Ryuji wants honesty, so might as well go all in on it. He stares at the ceiling, frowning.]

...You're not wrong. Not at all.

[So. That's that.]

[ryuji]

[His instincts here weren't wrong, but it doesn't stop him from feeling like time stopped around him for a second. It's like getting in the car to drive somewhere and realizing you've gone past the exit too many stops and didn't think about all the mile markers in between. Some stuff makes more sense now.

Watching him fall down and accept this as a defeat in confessing his feelings doesn't sit well with him, though, and as he watches on, he frowns a little bit about it.]

It ain't a bad thing. You know that, right?

[grakraka]

[It doesn't bother him much. If he reflects on it, he can find points in time when what he felt towards Akira wasn't the rivalry or the hatred or even the desire to be his friend, though all of those still stand. The fact that they all still remain might make it worse.

He snorts, dropping his arm over his face.]

Are you joking? I have to try to get rid of these feelings now that I've become aware of them and, as you may have noticed, I am not particularly good at doing that.

[ryuji]

[Are you seriously telling an overly emotional, sentimental loser that it's right and proper to try to rid yourself of those instinctive thoughts? That's fucking whack. So here he is, sauntering over to the couch to go right on and pull his hand away from his face. No more hiding. Metagorically or otherwise.]

Did I effin' stutter or something?

[Yeah, sure, he tried to kill him. That's still a very huge and important thing. But it comes with the whole package deal of seeing this through, right? In for a penny, in for a pound.]

Dude, if there's one thing I know about the dokis is that when they hit you, you don't really get the option of rippin' em right up outta you and tryin' to throw 'em away. The more you try, the worse it's gonna get and the deeper in the shit you're gonna get.

[Listen, he's been with Dave for 6 months now and spent a good deal of his time going through this phase himself. Different perspective, different scenario. Same feeling, though. Scared, annoyed at himself for having them. Not knowing, most of all, how to deal with that.]

[grakraka]

[Although he gives him an annoyed look when he pulls his arm away, he doesn't fight it. It's part of the promise, ultimately. If he wanted to, he could probably wiggle out of it, saying this went past what the card offered. But the card was meant to be something else, not just a single answer. It was supposed to make him talk honestly with two people he wants to know better, because they matter to him in weird ways.

So he listens to Ryuji's surprisingly nice words and hesitates before sitting up. Lying would be so much easier. Instead he pushes himself.]

...All right. What do I do then?

[Now he looks at him intently. If Ryuji really does know about this, then he might be the only person who can tell him what he should do with the feelings.]

[ryuji]

In an absolutely perfect world, what would you wanna see happen?

[grakraka]

[He frowns.]

Surface answer would be to rid myself of these feelings and forget it happened.

[Which is not actually what he wants but he thought it best to share it with him anyway.]

I... I would like to... [Hesitate, restart. He hates answering things without knowing what he wants to say. And the problem is that he kind of does know but it sounds so stupid, so idealistic and ridiculous on every level that he hates it.] ...I would like that sort of relationship, someday. I don't... think I am equipped for it. But since you're speaking in a hypothetical, then yes, I would like to be, ah, close to him in that manner.

[After saying it, he makes a face.] I am not particularly good at being openly sentimental, either, so I apologise that it sounds... clinical. That isn't how I feel. Clinical, I mean, it's not clinical at all, that's why it's— [He breaks off, frustrated.] I just want him to—

[He stops.] I want him to feel the same way as me. Ideally. And be with him, ideally, in a way that doesn't hurt either of us. Which I am also not great at.

[ryuji]

[He has to stop himself from rolling his eyes at his first passthrough attempt at addressing his feelings, and Ryuji stations himself on the arm of the couch, waiting for the real answer to start coming out.

And if this is the real Akechi- the one that's completely unsure of himself and arguing with his own turns of phrases when he doesn't have to?]

Dude, it's cool, don't get hung up on useless shit, I get what you're goin' for. But they're feelings, they're not meant to be, like, explained and put into little boxes like this is bio class and you're dissecting a frog. And just recognizing you have 'em is... honestly, it's a pretty big step.

[But... hm.]

You got a sense of how he feels about you at all?

[grakraka]

[Welcome to a sneak peek into Akechi's head, Ryuji. It's a terrible place of insecurity and constant frustration with himself. Not a fun place.

Akechi gives an exasperated sigh as he folds his arms and slumps back on the couch.]

How am I supposed to know? Trying to read him is pointless for me. I always end up with different conclusions based on the same evidence. I thought he hates me but he doesn't, for some idiotic reason I'm sure. [Though, it's more of a fond insult than anything, even if his tone barely changes from the annoyance it already holds.] He isn't someone I understand, so I'm never sure how I'm reading him... Sometimes I feel quite in-sync with him but that isn't really reading his feelings for me. I don't know.

I do know my instinct is to say he wouldn't feel the same, no. [He frowns.] Why would he? No one sane would.

[ryuji]

Akira doesn't hate you because that's just who he is.

[He doesn't have a PhD in Akira to say that for 100% certain, but it's like calling the sky blue or ramen delicious. It's inherent to what he is, how he sees the world. It's a shared perspective in life that literally helped pull Ryuji out of some of the worst in his own life, and if he knows anything, he can venture a guess to say that it's not the case.

And, to be fair, Ryuji never thought, in a million years, he'd be giving advice to someone (especially Akechi?) on how to shoot for the romance ending of a love game with Akira. New shit happens every day, it looks like. But he draws from personal experience, here.]

I think... like, I realized I was falling for Dave kinda like how you get to a roller coaster ride. It's all weird and anxious, and your gut's all like freaking the eff out right up until you get to the top. And then you look down right over the top, and it's it. It just hit me with the full force of a roller coaster whippin' me right down. [He gives a kick to the arm of the chair he's sitting on, since he's not particularly great at explaining himself when it comes to intimacy to begin with.]

But the only reason we got there is because we kept hanging out. We kept talking. I mean, shit, all we did was talk. That's all there was to do. I'd show you my old smartwatch from the station but you'd probably be embarrassed of me. But you know what? That's the best part. Learning to open up to someone, spendin' time with them. And then you get to the top of the peak and you look down, and you kinda hope that there's someone in the seat next to you to hold your hand when it happens.

[grakraka]

[As Akechi listens to him, he is quiet, watching him. In a way, it's a romantic notion. No, it really is, like a leap into faith. Ah, yes, that does make sense.]

There was an old philosophical disagreement between the schools of thought belonging to Hegel and Kierkegaard. [He instantly knows he might lose Ryuji's interest so he glances at him, lips quirked into a small smile.] Believe me, this is one you'll understand just fine. Hegel believed more in external forces acting upon someone and that being the catalyst for change. That, in a sense, you are static, incomplete being that needs a push or you will simply continue on the path you've decided upon. Kierkegaard, however, thought that was frankly stupid and believed more that change couldn't come solely from the outside. You yourself have to wish to change. You may not know for certain the path to change will be open to you but you have to... believe in the possibility of a better tomorrow for yourself and take that step anyway.

[Almost bashful, he adjusts his gloves.] What I'm saying is that I... would like to try. I know that waiting for an external force means, as Kierkegaard feared, that your future will slip away. That's why I gave you both those cards. I would like to... at least be friends with you both in the future, if we aren't now. But I don't know how to, I suppose, just... talk to him. And it is, as much as it pains me to admit it, exactly as you just described.

[The feelings of terror that overwhelm him are similar enough to a roller coaster that he can understand what Ryuji meant. Even right now, even just saying this, it's terrifying.]

[ryuji]

[Bold of Akechi to assume that that, since Ryuji's already starting to let his mind wander, elevator music stuck in the background as his jaw starts to slack and he stares at Akechi's mouth making all these... so many... a lot of??? words all at once. But he's pulled back prematurely in between the space of "philosophical disagreement" and "this is one you'll understand." Goddamnit, now he actually has to try and pay attention to all this nerd talk.

He gets the part where change can't come from just external sources, though, because of obvious reasons about how he had changed over time- from Akira's friendship, to being a part of the Phantom Thieves, to Dave. He nods, slowly, but- fuck, his brain hurts.]

So... you're sayin' you need a push and you need to want to be pushed in order for it to work. Got it.

[RYUJI...

Well, there could've been worse things to grab out of that entire situation right there.]

There's a ball comin' up, you know. You could always ask him for a dance. [That's... that's too forward!]

Get the hell out of your comfort zone, y'know? Lobsters don't shed their shells unless they're ready to grow.

[grakraka]

[At least Ryuji more or less got what Akechi meant, so he can't actually sigh at him. But dance? With Akira? Sure, he wants that and would love to but now that he is aware of how he feels, that might change the interaction. He doesn't want to make Akira uncomfortable. He would hate for Akira to treat him differently. If things changed for the worst because of something Akechi did...

Lobsters? Lobsters.]

Lobsters have a fascinating longevity and recent research suggests they die due to exhaustion occurring in the molting process or infection during it rather than anything else, which leads to theoretical wonders on the actual lifespan of a lobster...

[Absently just. Telling him a piece of trivia as a distraction, like some weird defense mechanism. Because he could not process the idea of dancing with Akira? Yes.

Fuck. Why is he like this? No he knows why but why? Akechi groans.]

I know I just said something weird please don't comment on it! I just can't!

[ryuji]

[This dude's a mess.]

Akechi...

[Oh god, no, don't tell him not to comment on something, that's like the worst thing that could ever happen to Ryuji. His eyes go wide, and Akechi can tell that he really, really wants to point out how goddamn nerdy he is, but now that thought it stuck, constipated in the sea of thoughts that have a straight connection to his mouth.]

What the hell! That ain't fair and you know it!

[Leaning over, he picks up a pillow from the couch and thrusts it a few feet away, right at Akechi.]

Get back on track! You gonna ask Akira to dance with ya?

[grakraka]

[Akechi sputters as he whacks at the pillow. Now he's extra flustered somehow from Ryuji sulking like that so suddenly being asked like that makes his face turn red.]

I don't know! What if he becomes suspicious because of it? Isn't that a weird thing to ask?! I have no build up I can't just ask without a convenient window in which he could not possibly suspect anything odd about it!

[ryuji]

You, uh.

[Oh god, is this.

Is this really happening?]

You need a wingman?

[He pauses, though, because he needs to suss something out, here.]

You do know what a wingman is, right?

[grakraka]

[Fuck. He can't say no now. He thinks he does.]

It's... I think I saw a wedding movie once that used that term, ah... Um. An adviser?

[ryuji]

Yeah, it's basically an adviser, but mostly for your dick.

[Jesus fucking christ.]

[grakraka]

[Akechi is screaming in his head because this is the most surreal conversation of his entire life.]

Why is my dick part of this conversation now? That has nothing to with dancing.

[ryuji]

[What is getting laid, if not for a mating dance?

Ryuji's not experienced enough to drop that straight onto Akechi, and probably needs a few more levels in guts, so he'll just offer a pretty sheepish and dumb smile to the entire deal.]

Dude, I am definitely not answerin' that question because I've got a pretty filthy mind and I don't ever wanna imagine you and Akira gettin' it on like that, but.

Whatever, it's cool. A wingman is someone helps you by hyping you up to someone so that you can kinda swoop in and get your chance. Kinda like a crow goin' in for the shiny object.

If Akira were the shiny object.

... Buhh....

[...]

That's a bad analogy.

[grakraka]

You mean as if Akira were my treasure? I think it's a rather romantic analogy.

[Akechi that isn't what he said you know what fine.]

But all right. I leave myself in your capable hands, wingman. I can't believe I'm saying that but you do have a boyfriend and are, as a whole, a more well-adjusted person emotionally than I am, so...

[God help him.]

[ryuji]

That sounds.... so gay, dude.

[As someone who recently tented his pants over making out with his boyfriend in public, he feels equally okay with calling it how he sees it.

But it's not without a bit of a smile. God, some of the things he had said to Akira back then, not even knowing that he had...

Whatever, it's not about that.]

Eh, I know what you're gettin' at, but like. Don't compare us? Y'know, not even speakin' from like. Shit, how do I wanna say this because it kinda sounds messed up no matter how you look at it, but.

Everyone goes through what they gotta go through. So you ain't far enough on your roller coaster yet, but. Who gives a shit? You can get there. I mean, you're Goro Akechi. I don't think there's really a thing you can't do if you really put your mind to it.

[Ryuji's officially protag-friending him at this point??]

And if Akira is what you wanna do, yeah, sure. I'll help.

[Bright smiles all around.]