balance_logs | Field Mission 5: Il Prigioniero, Part 3

Field Mission 5: Il Prigioniero, Part 3

	They had discovered one could grow as hungry for light as for food.
	NAVIGATION

1. THE FATE OF WONDERLAND

A. CRESCENDO; FINALE

The beauty of the sentient mind is that hope is hard to kill. Even living in illusion for so long, the Bureau of Balance as a whole believed to the end that a happy ending was possible in Wonderland. That's a good thing, even if an unrealistic dream. Without that vision, that hope, there's no way to succeed. You all know that, don't you?

You knew it when you went back into the tree to save absolutely anyone that you could. Strangers some of them. Strangers most of them. It didn't matter. There's a happy ending to this story; everyone believed in it as surely as they carried out the innocent, as surely as they carried out each other.

You knew it when you got crafty with needle and thread, trying to reassemble the cruel joke Wonderland made with those who lost their way and fell into debt. Nine bodies are saved — including Henrik's, Henrik whose soul is reattached to his body, Henrik whose shaking arms can finally reach out to hold his son.

You knew it when you spoke to a dying Yggdrasil, Maya taking in the suffering and sickness of its years, listening with an open heart until, suddenly, as the tree's consciousness began to collapse, she was taken Somewhere Else. To speak with a man in a sharp suit with places to be. Things to do. Planar systems to devour. You know how it is. A poisoned arrow to Yggdrasil's open wound brought it down for good, leaving Shuichi to hurriedly plant the new Golden Leaf for a new World Tree; leaving Sayori and Angus McDonald to pick up the pieces of their dazed comrades.

You knew it when you tricked the Mirror Maze into glitching apart, giving it quite simply too much to keep track of. The fact that you found a helper along the way certainly didn't hurt, but let's face it: this was genius. The reward is Niel, crystallized, encasing the Compact. Suffering, as he has been for a very long time.

You knew it when three warlocks and a very angry wizard embarked on an ultimately suicidal mission, which just goes to show that the best-laid plans of mice and men sometimes lead to a 50% vore rate. A desperate attempt to keep Adrian distracted for long enough that the Compact could be retrieved was only able to delay him in the end. Just because success is possible doesn't make it guaranteed. Sometimes a fight with the villain ends in stalemate.

Sometimes a fight with the villain isn't a fight at all. Sometimes it's an outstretched hand (or two, or four), and sacrifices from each member of the party, and pain, and . . . self-awareness. Sometimes the villain just wants to let go. Sometimes there are happy endings, but this time Niel — fused into the Tree itself, his life tied up in the dying Yggdrasil, extended by the Compact — just wants it to stop. He doesn't want to hurt anyone anymore.

His friends are holding his hands as they take the Compact and make it stop.

This isn't a happy ending. But that isn't your fault. Hope for a happy ending has, quite literally, saved the world.

The nightmare is over. Wonderland slips away.

2. ON THE EDGE OF THE HORIZON

B. THE PEOPLE

And as suddenly as the myriad indulgences of Wonderland went to ... well, complete shit, there's something of a metaphorical blink of light. Those who were meant to be dead are - both your fellow Reclaimers and the Rolands who could not be fixed in time - but there is still many that are saved. Injuries knot back together at the slightest curative magic. Smog and negativity vanish like they never were, taking the last shambling monsters away with it. The souls of Shadowdale that you have returned to their respective bodies have a new life to forge. Things can be fixed.

If only it were that easy.

Shadowdale, for all intents and purposes, is uninhabitable. For the first time since the Bureau's mission began, an entire city population has lost its home, and must move on. No matter how much blame you may place on yourself for the way things turned out, whether it's guilt or hope that drives you forward, time, and the cycle of life itself, spins onward. And the people who live march on.

To New New Aspen.

Matthew has promised to bring the survivors of Shadowdale to his home, to give them a new chance. You have a couple of options here, if you would like to help them. You may serve as guard, helping escort the people of Shadowdale to New New Aspen. Super convenient for you, since it's right by the Moon Base! You may help them build and settle.

The people of New New Aspen, only months away from Candlenights, are hard at work carving their annual ornaments. You may help the new residents acclimate - whether it's helping them work the fields, start a business, or take part in their new home's most coveted tradition. And you'll have a new ornament to bring home with you, too.

C. THE FOREST

The deadened woods you traveled through to reach Shadowdale at the beginning of this mission seem somehow even more silent, cloaked in demise, than when you first stepped in it. The madness is gone, replaced with double the silence, a stillness like nothing you've ever experienced before. It's almost as if your senses, save for however you perceive the light of the sun, are gone.

At least, until someone speaks to you. A wood elf - he doesn't give you his name, but he does identify himself as someone who was trapped. Someone who, through your efforts to restore the Rolands, you gave life to again.

And he does have a request for you.

"This place has little hope for revival," he says, sniffing slightly, taking in the silence around you both. "At least, it has little hope in your lifetime.

But I do have something to ask of you. Give this place life, the way you did for the people here. Even if you, or even I, for that matter, will never likely live long enough to see it."

That's sort of an existential way of asking you to do some hardcore landscaping. But you will be provided with seeds of all sorts, and you will have the opportunity to plant them as you see fit. If you would like to build a shrine, or remember those who lost their lives here in some other way, you are free to do that as well.

There's something else curious, though: literally anything you plant, regardless of what it is, will eventually produce a viable bud sprouting from the gray, dry soil.

What does that even mean? If you plant a book of poems, are you going to get a poetree?

Are you even going to live long enough to see it in full bloom?

D. THE EXHAUSTION

You might not be on Lucretia levels of exhausted (she is, remember, zonked, and will remain so all the way back to the Moon Base and beyond for a while), but this has not been an easy mission for anyone who dared to test this Grand Relic's powers.

Whether you return from New New Aspen, or whether you finally catch a ride back to the Moon Base from the forest, you are now free to return home. This is your welcome home wildcard, a chance for you to try to recuperate, address anything at all before the next Lunar Interlude begins.

You will find that the Moon Base has an awfully somber feel to it, from the inner members of the Bureau to the people serving the Reclaimers in the town. Word is starting to trickle in on what you all went through.

blurb code by photosynthesis

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

...

[Yes... we established that already...]

Well... that's okay! [she says instead of pointing out the obvious. Now more than ever, she wants to encourage him. Not just about being honest, but just a more general kind of encouragement.] I'm sure you'll remember in no time. And even if you don't, that's okay, too. We'll just have to keep making new memories together.

...

[She chews the inside of her bottom lip, folding her hands in her lap. She starts to pick nervously at a loose thread on her skirt before forcing herself to stop.]

Ummm... do you remember when we were talking back in Shadowdale...? You mentioned something about feelings. Do you... remember those?

[ Yes. He nods as he chews on more of his cookie. He remembers her being very upset, and then him picking the wrong dialogue option and upsetting her more, and Shuichi basically saving the day by saying things that sounded nice even if they were probably not true. Shuichi's a smart guy. Hm. Maybe Minato should put the cookie down...

He takes one last bite before setting it aside. ]

Edited 2019-10-21 03:28 (UTC)

...

[He just nods. Of course he does. Typical Minato.

Kaede presses a little more, fingers starting to fiddle with the hem of her skirt again.]

W-Well...? What were they? You said you had feelings around me...

[ Oh. That time in Shadowdale. When he was beat to shit and couldn't remember anything. He thought she meant the earlier one... Well, he remembers that too. ]

That was you. I didn't understand the Oath. Got confused.

[ There was a simple explanation the whole time! What a relief. ]

...

[That's right. Of course he'd feel her own emotions through their Oath. The same way he can probably feel the sharp pain in the center of her chest, radiating out into a dull ache.

Her voice is very, very soft as her fidgeting stills.]

Oh.

[If pressed, she wouldn't be able to put her finger exactly on when she'd started having feelings for Minato, but he'd never seemed to return them... that conversation where he deemed her his sidekick had really cemented that in place. But then he'd said he felt things around her, and she'd gotten the wrong idea...

She forces a laugh, pressing both hands to her chest to try to stop the ache. This is Akechi all over again.]

Y-Yeah, of course! I'm glad you figured it out.

[ Oh god damn it he just said the wrong thing again!! He doesn't even know how it was the wrong answer this time. He really misses all of his Persona. Their constant chattering was annoying but they more than made up for it. They knew how to respond to people. Following their instincts got him through so much.

Try to emulate someone... What would Shuichi do in this situation? ]

... Sorry.

[ .... He doesn't know Shuichi all that well yet. ]

[She shakes her head, humming her dissent.]

No, don't be... it's okay!

[She does offer him her cookie, though. She's not really hungry anymore, but at least she doesn't feel like she's going to cry. She just feels kind of tired. Disappointed and kind of numb. Maybe a little foolish for getting her hopes up. Ah, wait, no, that does make her sad. Best not to think about that.]

It was my fault for getting confused, too, so... don't worry about it, okay? As long as we're still friends, no matter what.

[ He takes the cookie from her and nods instinctively, staring down at it. He's been impressively good at hurting her the past month or so. Or maybe he always has and the Oath has just made him aware of how often he does it. He doesn't know what to say besides the platitudes of "I'm sorry" and such. The cookie snaps in half in his hands. ]

[...She's upset him, hasn't she? She doesn't need Oath or Insight to realize that.

This isn't like Akechi at all, is it?]

You're gonna get crumbs on your pants, c'mon...

[And maybe it's too awkward to get close to him right now, maybe she's just setting herself up to get hurt, or make things even more uncomfortable for him. But she scoots in closer and wraps him into a hug, closing her eyes to just focus on holding him.]

[ He doesn't react to the crumbs remark. They're just crumbs. Her friendship is more important than that. Words start forming in his head about being friends, still wanting to be friends, always being friends, something like that, but she hugs him before he can say anything. He blinks for a moment, confused. Why is she hugging him? ... Well, whatever. He relaxes into her hold, trying to remember what he wanted to say, when a question forms in his mind. ]

... Do I hurt you often?

[ He'd prefer not to hurt his friends the way he's hurt her. If he can avoid doing that again... ]

Edited 2019-10-30 02:13 (UTC)

...Huh? No, of course not.

[She doesn't really understand the question at first. Her fingers curl in against his back as she nuzzles her chin against his shoulder and opens her eyes, staring at the wall behind him. She wishes she could just turn Oath off, like, selectively. Not break her promise, never that, but at least keep so many of her own emotions from filtering through.

Because, well, even if it's not a lie, that he doesn't hurt her often, she is hurting right now. She can't help the ache in her heart, settled right in the middle of her chest. It's the same kind of ache that had formed back in Shadowdale, when she'd broken down sobbing in front of him and Shuichi. But she'd hurt a lot of people too in Wonderland. She can't hold that against him. That's not fair.]

I just...

[She hesitates, fingers curling in a little more tightly, then sighs. She'd asked him to always be honest with her, hadn't she?]

It's pretty stupid, but... I thought maybe you felt the way I do. But... that's not true, is it?

[ The way she feels? She probably doesn't mean the hurt she's feeling right now. A more general feeling, then. Like when they were putting up the furniture and decorations, or when she was talking to him after he lost his memories. Or when they were in that discount hotel room together in Wonderland. He feels it, or something similar, when they're apart too. All her joy and cheer. She's a much happier person than he is. ]

Mm... I don't... feel that kind of happiness.

[ Not as strong as she does, not for as long as she does, not as often as she does. Probably the longest and strongest joy he's felt was on that tram ride, which knowing Wonderland now he would bet was enchanted or something. ]

...Mmm.

[She just hums quietly, closing her eyes again and exhaling another sigh. She could feel that, kind of. She'd just kind of thought he was way more in control of his emotions than she was. In a way, she almost admired it; it made him seem cool, collected, no matter what kinds of weird circumstances they found themselves in. He's reliable in the kind of way she wishes she could be.]

I... really wish I could make you happy, [she says quietly.] Like... even when we're playing melancholy songs together, like Schubert, I can't help but be really happy. 'Cause we're together.

You're my friend.... That makes me happy.

[ He likes being around his friends. It's not the same kind of overwhelming joy she regularly feels, but it's something that's worth getting up for, fighting for, dying for, and if they're lucky enough to stop the Hunger, living for. ]

[It doesn't feel like it makes him happy.

She bites her tongue before that mean thought can leak out. That's not fair. He'd implied that her emotions are so much stronger than his are -- she's a pianist, of course she'd be full of passion! -- so maybe she just can't feel it through her own.]

That's... that's all I want.

[Her fingers squeeze more tightly at his back as she digs her chin a little more firmly in against his shoulder.]

I-I can never tell what you're thinking, but then in Shadowdale, I thought... you know. You liked me. As more than a friend.

[She forces a laugh. It sounds so silly and childish to say it like that.]

I'm sorry... I don't want to make things weird. But I wanted to be honest... so there wouldn't be any more confusion.

[ Oh...........

Oh.

Is that what she meant.

Is that what this is about.

Is that what that embarrassment was?

.... Huh. ]

[ Some things click in his mind, and suddenly the reason for her pain is clear. Why she was hurt when he said what he was feeling was just her feelings. Minato wraps his own arms around her, abandoning the cookie on his lap. He doesn't mind that she feels that way, but it's not something he feels in return. His emotions don't work like that, and haven't for a long time. And he doesn't want to lose her friendship either. The idea is painful in its own right. Not as deep, or as scarring, as Kaede's own hurt, but... Maybe it's weird to her, and if that's true, he's not going to hold her friendship hostage. ]

.... I can leave... Move out, if... If it'd be easier for you.

[ Through some combination of Insight and the Oath, she can probably tell that it's not something he's exactly gunning to do. But it'd make more sense for him to move out than for her to. The entire place is decorated to her liking, and she owns a lot more stuff than he does. Are there any rooms available? He can sleep near the dojo if he has to. It's quiet there. ]

Oh-!

[As it always is when Minato shows her affection of any kind, his returning the hug is unexpected. It makes her heart leap in her chest for just a moment before she herself shoves it back down, her fingertips squeezing his back even more tightly than before.

And then she almost laughs at his suggestion, shaking her head as she swallows back tears. He's just so kind and considerate. It's not fair.]

Don't be stupid, Minato-kun.

[It's the first time she's used his first name, but it doesn't feel weird. She closes her hands into fists and lightly smacks them against his back. She still doesn't know if she wants to laugh or cry, and for a moment, she wishes she could have even an ounce of Minato's composure.]

It's your room, after all! And... no matter what, I want to keep spending time with you. I mean...

[Her vision swims with tears, and she closes her eyes to fight them back as she admits quietly,] I... kind of figured it was like that, anyway. S-So... it'll be okay! Everything will be just fine!

[Even if right this instant, it feels like her heart is going to crack and shatter, she knows that her bond with her friend is strong enough to get through her stupid feelings.]

Edited 2019-10-30 05:42 (UTC)

[ He nods into her shoulder. ]

I'll be here... As long as you want.

[ He doesn't have anything else to say in the way of comforting words. He's not a very wordsy guy. But he'll let her hug him (and he'll hug her back) for as long as she wants. ]

[She doesn't dare answer that verbally, too focused on trying to keep her emotions in check. She doesn't want to cry on him. She already put him through so much in Wonderland already. She just hugs him more tightly, blunt fingernails tugging at his clothes as she grips.

At least he picked the right dialogue option this time, for sure. She digs her chin into his shoulder, eyes still closed. That's all she wants, is for him to be her friend. She doesn't want to think about him being gone yet again. Maru had been awful, but Wonderland had been so much worse. Not knowing if they'd even be able to escape from not!Henrik and the rest had been one of the most frightening things in her life, and she's including being executed in that list.

So when she finally trusts her voice, trusts herself not to burst into tears, she loosens her grip. She doesn't stop hugging him, though, just stops squeezing him quite so hard.]

So... friends forever, right?

[She snorts a laugh. It sounds so childish. Like elementary schoolers making a promise.]

Yeah... Friends forever.

[ It probably is childish but he doesn't care. She's his best friend here. He's now known her for as long as he's known his team back home... And he was absolutely serious when he agreed to the Oath. So until their final parting, whether by death or salvation, he'll be her friend. ]

[Hearing him reaffirm it does ease a little of the ache in her heart. She knew he just thought of her as a friend. She knew that, but then the Oath had let her think...

She sighs, closing her eyes again.]

You give really good hugs... nothing's gonna change, right...? Now that you know, um... about how I feel...?

It doesn't bother me.

[ He doesn't care about stuff like that. As long as she acts like it's fine and normal that it won't be awkward to him. It's not like home where people would tear him apart over a misunderstanding. ]

[She huffs another laugh again, more helplessly this time.]

Not a lot of stuff bothers you, huh...? I wish I could be more like that.

[ He shrugs. Whether it's a good or bad trait changes with the situation. Really, it changes based on whether the person is angry with him or not. So it's a sign that Kaede's not upset with him over all of this. Upset, but not with him. She doesn't blame him for it. That's good. ]

Field Mission 5: Il Prigioniero, Part 3

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