Lunar Interlude 5 — Part 2

[balancemod]

FINALLY. NAVIGATION 1. IN THE NOT-SO DISTANCE: A TRAIN A. GET YOUR BOARDING PASSES READY As your friendly neighborhood interplanal technomancer mentioned earlier, a pocket dimension the Bureau of Balance had been using for storage got kind of ... well, infected is probably the most accurate word for it. And for a multitude of reasons, most of them for her own gain, Miss Zarves has unlocked the door and guided you toward the entrance. It's contained on one of the locked floors above your quarters on the Moon Base. And once you step through the entrance and get a load of what she's been yammering about ... boy. That is most definitely a hell of a train. It's parked at a single solitary station, the air both smells and exhudes a general sense of unease and steam, and the cars seem to stretch on into forever. Much like infected was the most accurate word earlier, "demonic" is probably what works best right now. Best steel yourself. And hang on tight to that diamond Miss Zarves told you to bring along (Dr. Tank is throwing a fit over having to dole them out, btw). You've got a director to fetch, after all. B. THE TRAIN'S CARS This bad boy (evil boy, demonic boy, whatever you're in the mood to refer to this thing that is definitely not Doomtrain (but probably is Doomtrain for those in the know)) comes equipped with the luxury status that befits its 5* Zagart rating. As you pull up to one of the many compartments, you'll notice that the landing zone is pretty much the same for every car that's currently parked at the station. Down the line, of course, you can't even make out the beginning or the end of this monstrosity, and as you touch the edifice (that is, if you're brazen enough to do so), you can can swear you feel a warm, beating sensation under the literal ton of steel facing you. The rules of this train ride of the impossible are written firmly on a neat placard across from the entrance way. Doors will remain locked until you agree to the ToS set forth by... well, who you can only assume is the Conductor. Decided to enter? Well, there's a lot to do here! Go be lazy somewhere else! ○ The Seating Cars. They're perfect for sitting in on long journeys. If you look outside the window you'll see neon lights swirling around in the distance. No matter where you go or what you do, it doesn't actually look like this train is going anywhere. You wouldn't want to go anywhere anyway, right? So just have a seat! You'll find yourself feeling pretty chill about sitting. So much so that it might be hard to get up. Thoughts just tend to slip away while you wait. And wait you will. Forever! Unless someone can snap you out of it. Loot table: Sleepy time tea set (a set of 6 teabags that when distilled and imbibed have the same effect of the Sleep spell), any book from your home world, a memento from someone you knew before coming to the Bureau, an unsolvable crossword puzzle ○ The Art Gallery Car. You've wound up in an empty car with paintings to your left and right. Some of these cars have portraits of stuffy old people watching you, wherever you go. When you pass one, you'll hear one of them say something incredibly insulting towards you that strikes a deep nerve within. Turn around to get a better look, and guess what? It's just a painting, what were you actually expecting? Other Art Gallery cars will show idyllic landscapes, that ripple when you touch the paint within them. Can you pass through to the other side? You certainly can. You'll notice that everything in these vast, barren wastelands contains ridiculous things that were once deposed of by the Bureau of Balance. One of them might have an industrial sized dump of old uniforms. You can see that Lucretia absolutely had a fashion designer come in and spruce up the digs. You'll find endless, and we really... really do mean endless fields of pizza sauce vats that sprawl entire pocket-within-pocket dimensions. Other ones will contain, as you guessed it, Fantasy Costco flyers. They're of varying quality. Entire pockets of failed machinery that was once met for the Bureau's sustaining devices on the moon are located here as well. If you can think it up, and it's garbage... there's a highly good chance that a painting can lead you here. The worst type of Art Gallery cars will let you enter a painting that spits you out on another side of the train. Or worse, commit you straight up into an MC Escher landscape of winding stairs leading to nowhere and are nearly impossible to escape out of. Even worse than that? Paintings that you step into that show you a complete reverse of everything on the other side. Colors, shapes, sizes- it's Picasso all the way down from here. At least it's fun to look at it, albeit mostly harmless. Loot table: Painting supplies, Blank canvases, Jars of pizza sauce (one tablespoon is as filling as a whole meal, 24 uses), Clothing already on your body but in complete color reversals ○ The Club Car. Eventually, you'll find your way to a car that's brimming with the sweet and sultry blues sound of the Runaway Five, a group wearing suits and neat hats that seem to play some of the best music you've heard in a while. Upon entering, you'll notice that your wardrobe has been redone into the flapper style of the 20s. This is one hell of a speakeasy. Take a load off, grab a drink, socialize. If you manage to get a word in with the Runaway Five, you'll find that the Devil Went Down to Neverwinter was quite a literal thing here. They might've sold their soul for fame, but for one and one night only, they're here to liven up the joint. Too bad this place seems to exist in a perpetual state of night. Oof. Be careful with who you make contracts with. Loot table: Music sheets, handheld musical instruments (ocarina, flute, kazoo, etc), one bottle of extremely potent alcohol, your flapper outfit ○ The Dining Car. Towards the front of the train... or what you can assume to be the front of the train, is a dining car that's absolutely disproportionate in every sense of the word. As you enter, you realize that you're about the size of a safety pin in comparison to everything else in the room. Giant swaths of cheese boards make walking on the moon look like an easy task. Goblets of wine can appear to be a hot tub of drunken goodness. Take a stroll on the pillowy soft landscape of the bread flatlands. And, eventually... make your way to a literal mountain of Jello. There's something dark and shadowy on the inside of it, if you'd like to get digging. Who knows what could be under there, though? Loot table: Weapons in the shape of utensils that never rust or dull, slices of cake that never seem to go bad, small jello pet that seems sentient and fits in the palm of your hand, a jalapeno pepper that when ingested allows you to breathe fire once ○ OOC/Etc. We're really open to seeing how you go wild with this log. Feel free to make up any sort of car you can imagine and throw it together. The key element here is leaning on the absurd, if you haven't gotten the idea yet, and we'll be keeping an eye out to see what you all end up creating on this hellish train ride to... well, you'll see. Notice that there are loot tables up there? Well, if you've read the ToS Agreement, you'll know you're allowed to take one item out of here. It's yours to keep! Lastly, if your party winds up truly lost and can't make heads or tails of the train (and even as you get to the very front, where you think the Conductor's car is, you'll eventually get sent back to the very first car on the train), you can always follow a mouse with a sign. It'll lead you on a maze of forward and back shenanigans until you find yourself... at the station where you began. Wait, was this thing ever actually moving!? C. THE OTHER SIDE OF THE MOON At some point, though, assuming you don't get lost, you will approach a painting that is a chaotic mess of bright colors splashed across a dark black canvas. This is the last stop before you reach the Engine and, presumably, whoever it is actually conducting this thing. And considering all those other paintings you probably stumbled through on your way here, you know what to do with this one. The other side of the painting, at first, is pitch black. Then, like flashlights blinking on, a splash of color. Then, another. They spread out like a web to reveal an entire second Moon Base, contoured in neon lights. You're not going to find some Other Side Garfield running the Other Side Fantasy Costco (we don't want to torture you quite that much). But you will find that the layout of the domes, of the trees, of the buildings, is correct down to the last detail. And you're not going to find any other living creatures — you are going to find nothing but monsters. Art that melts off the wall and springs at you. If you happen to wander to where your room is supposed to be, you might find that the item that's most precious to you has suddenly sprouted limbs and is attempting to shatter your bones. Yes, you can fight the moonside version of Bender (we don't particularly recommend it, however! He's stationary and tough as nails — you can bypass him easily). If you wander down to the Voidfish tank, you'll find that the Voidfish itself has been replaced by a giant violin. You'll have to fight the violin, too. While all of this is happening, though, there is a voice booming through the entire neon base; a man speaking through invisible loudspeakers. He runs through the aforementioned Terms of Service, repeatedly, before his tone suddenly shifts, presumably addressing whoever has made it this far: Get out. Get out. Get out get out get out get out

Comments

a

[korekara]

Oh wow, I finally found you!

[ Does Honoka need to be yelling right now? Probably not, but Honoka is yelling right now regardless. Partly to be heard over the music but mostly to give this drunken guy a polite warning to back off, please.

Does she recognize Shuichi? Nope! But it's written down in the international laws of Being A Girl (or something, anyway) that if you see someone getting bugged by a rando and they look uncomfortable, you IMMEDIATELY intervene with the BFF Act. And by god, is Honoka putting up an act. ]

I'm sooooo sorry I lost you, this place is just super busy! But c'mon, I've got something to show you! [ She gently takes hold of Shuichi's wrist and gives him a little come on let's get out of here ASAP sort of tug. ] It's just over here!

[diffidentive]

E-eh?

[Shuichi looks confused and taken aback. He...has absolutely no idea who this girl is. But she's talking like she knows him. Is she perhaps drunk too? And confusing him for someone else? She doesn't look to be much older than he is, but that doesn't necessarily mean anything. This is a really shady car.]

[But he he doesn't voice his confusion further, choosing to take advantage of the situation to get away from this drunken rando. Without a word, he allows himself to be pulled away, and Honoka will find it incredibly easy to guide him along to wherever "just over here" is. Only then, once they're safely out of earshot, does Shuichi speak up. "Up" being relative here, because his voice is soft and quiet as always.]

Uhm...I'm s-sorry, but I think you have me confused with someone else...

[korekara]

Hm? Oh no, I have no clue who you are!

[ S–she says it so cheerfully... Honoka, that's kind of cold.

But then her smile softens a bit and she gives Shuichi's hand – when did she sneak from his wrist to his hand?? what a tricksy girl – a squeeze before letting go and setting her fists on her hips. ]

I just wanted to help you get away from that weird guy! You looked majorly freaked out so I figured if I acted like I knew you and we were heading somewhere else, it might be a little easier to get away and hey, it worked!

You okay? He didn't get any weirder with you, did he?

[diffidentive]

[So blunt! Shuichi takes it in stride though. After all, one of his best friends is Maki Harukawa. He's used to stabbing icicle words.]

O-oh, well I-- [Wait, hold up she's holding his hand now. When did that happen?? Shuichi's cheeks flush pink and his gaze drops to the floor as he brings up a hand to his head in an attempt to pull down the brim of a ballcap that isn't there. Wow, what interesting carpet in this car!] Uhm, th-thank you. I'm okay... That was...a r-really good idea.

[His knight in shining flapper garb is so smart!]

[korekara]

[ This may be the first time in the history of Faerun – or any world, for that matter – that Honoka has been praised for her intelligence. It's a good job the world already ended, so this can't be a sign of the apocalypse. ]

Don't worry about it! For now, let's just stick together to make sure no one bothers you again, okay?

[ She's got her chest puffed out and she looks one hundred percent ready to protect this poor shrinking violet. ]

Anyways! I'm Honoka Kousaka. What's your name?

[diffidentive]

Oh, um...i-it's okay! You don't have to do that...I don't want to inconvenience you any more. I'll be fine.

[He's sure Honoka has things to do without having to worry about whether he's being bothered or not.]

Oh, ah...I'm Shuichi Saihara.

[Part of him kind of hoped he could get away without introducing himself since he has a masculine name and he's sure that'll earn him a hard judgement for needing to be rescued at all, but...oh well.]

[korekara]

It's not like it's a bother or anything! Reclaimers've gotta stick together when we're out on missions like this.

[ That didn't prevent any disasters last time, but it might minimize the casualties. ]

Anyway! It's nice to meet you, Shuichi–

[ ... Oh. Hm, wait, hold on. She was about to say Shuichi-chan, because she thought she was talking to a girl. But Shuichi's kind of a manly name, right? So should she say Shuichi-kun instead? But what if that's wrong too and Honoka ends up looking like an awful person?

She bluescreens for a brief moment and then ends up going with the comparatively safer: ]

... Shuichi-san?

[ Nailed it. ]

[diffidentive]

[It's hard being androgynous. Mostly for the people who have to interact with you. Is this person a -chan or a -kun? That is the question, isn't it.]

[Fortunately, Shuichi is an observant and smart boy. He can guess what caused that momentary bluescreen. Though in that same moment, he also remembers something that he'd missed due to being so flustered...]

Ah, wait--! Kousaka-san... You're friends with Akamatsu-san, aren't you?

[What are the chances there are TWO Honoka Kousakas, after all? This has to be the same girl Kaede mentioned.]

[korekara]

Huh?

[ For a moment, she looks a little flummoxed by the sudden change of topic, but just as quickly, she's back to wearing a big bright smile. Because, hey! Even in the belly of a demon train, Honoka will take any opportunity she can to talk up her friends. ]

You mean Kaede-chan, right? Yeah, for sure! She's basically one of my best friends here.

[ honoka loves... kaede!!! ]

[diffidentive]

[Shuichi nods.]

Yes, that's her. She's a friend of mine from home...she's mentioned you to me a few times. [And tried to get him to go to her birthday party, but he wasn't comfortable with the idea of a sleepover in a girl's room when said girl was someone he'd never even met. So he spent the evening studying instead...what a nerd.] Um...s-so it's nice to finally be able to meet you.