[He all but chokes at the question; Shinjiro's been keeping his reaction as tightly reined in as he can, because the last thing he needs to do is flip out in the mines and attract a fucking basilisk or some other beastie while he's compromised, but it shakes him. He's only told a few people about it, mostly under duress. It's not that he hides it, exactly, because he wants to keep people away when he needs Castor--it's unsafe, otherwise--but he hates talking about it. Every time he does, it's like sticking his fingers into scar tissue and ripping. He swallows hard, and his hands clench into fists in his pockets.]
Yeah. [A beat.] Sometimes.
[Technically, once. But he started taking the suppressants afterward, so it could never happen again. Not having them anymore freaks him out, as much as they were destroying his body while he was taking them, and it's only recently that he's been summoning Castor willingly without them again. He'd promised Qrow to make an effort, at least, and Vista Virs had driven home the importance of having more firepower for threats like sandworms. But that doesn't mean he isn't still petrified every time he pulls the trigger on his Evoker.]
cw: reference to past suicidal behavior
Yeah. [A beat.] Sometimes.
[Technically, once. But he started taking the suppressants afterward, so it could never happen again. Not having them anymore freaks him out, as much as they were destroying his body while he was taking them, and it's only recently that he's been summoning Castor willingly without them again. He'd promised Qrow to make an effort, at least, and Vista Virs had driven home the importance of having more firepower for threats like sandworms. But that doesn't mean he isn't still petrified every time he pulls the trigger on his Evoker.]
S'why I said not to stand too close.