Welcome Participartypants

[balancemod]

Who: All y'all nerds
Where: The Arena
When: The night of the 15th
What: A small gathering to both welcome new members to the Bureau, and to congratulate veteran Reclaimers on their successful magic mitten procurement. Dress is as fancy or as not fancy as you want it. Manners, to the degree of which you are capable, are mandatory.
Content Warning: General content warning for the Reclaimers. Also general content warning for Miss Zarves

Formal, informal, never mind the dress code. NAVIGATION It's been two weeks since the Reclaimers returned, and since the newest Reclaimers arrived. Some of you have adapted better than the Director could have hoped, and some of you have made your best efforts to find a new sense of normalcy — testing Bender the food robot to his limits, forming book clubs, training together, musing over what sort of fashions one even wears to a party. Some of you, perhaps, have spent a little bit too much time in the simulation at the Dojo. It's understandable. Adjusting to the idea that your entire universe has been destroyed takes time, and sometimes, escapes are necessary. And tonight, she's hoping to provide you with a temporary escape with this party. 1. ONCE UPON A TWO WEEKS' WEARY A. TO WASH AWAY THE ACHING BLEARY The Director, using the Moon Base's simulation technology, has turned the Arena into a ballroom to behold. The sprawling hall is decorated in ornate wooden carvings, and a large maple floor meant for dancing is encircled by tables and a large banquet table. In the corner, on a raised platform, stands a baby grand piano, freshly tuned and polished. Anyone is free to have a spin on it, if the mood strikes. At some point during the evening, Johann the Bard, violin in hand, will stand on the platform and provide a performance that could only ever be heard on the Moon Base, among members of the Bureau of Balance — because he did, after all, give this particular song to the Voidfish. If you would like something with a heavier beat, there's a tablet on the wall next to the platform, where you can make music requests of your own, from the Artificer's collection of songs from across the universe. The collection may not be all that extensive, but The Cupid Shuffle is probably in there. Get down and boogie, is what we're saying. B. THEY WERE THROWN A BANQUET CHEERY And what's on the banquet table? Snacks provided by Bender, of course — which means they could have any manner of magical effects. Here are some of the snacks available, including one that the Director was lucky enough to roll for herself. Cupcakes of every flavor imaginable, utterly delicious — so delicious, in fact, that whoever eats one will have flowers grow in their footsteps for the next two hours. The flowers are magic and disappear on their own, so go turn the dance floor into a garden (Courtesy of Lion). Mead that puts you in such a good mood, you'll be unable to resist the urge to sing in whatever measure of talent you have (Courtesy of Lancelot). An energy drink that will literally give you wings for two hours. Enjoy looking absolutely angelic for your friends (Courtesy of Akechi). Nachos that have a curiously JPG quality to them, but no other magical effects (Courtesy of Terezi). The most delicious cheeseburgers you ever did taste (Courtesy of Maya). Finger sandwiches that, when eaten, light up your entire body in an assortment of different colors — the light trails behind your movements, like the way lights look on a low shutter speed. Enjoy the raving (courtesy of The Director). 2. BUT THEN, SHE ROSE FROM THE ICHOR Some of you may have heard a thing or two about Miss Zarves — perhaps the rumors circulating around town, or the strange connection to Garfield and the Bracer Chasers some of you may have bought to decorate your Bracers. Maybe words like "catalyst" and "Ouija Board" have come up once or twice. Because there is a being trapped in a plane of existence right next to yours, largely forgotten, as if she had somehow been reverse Voidfish'd. Forgotten, that is, until the Bracer Chasers — curiously laced with high amounts of aluminadium, a word that might sound familiar to McCree and Faolan. For two years, she's waited, and watched, wanting a chance to be seen again, to speak with the Bureau herself once again, cursed with a maddening loneliness. And the second one of those cute decorations was pressed against a Bracer, Miss Zarves had it — her catalyst. She would know, after all: She was once a leading researcher on using catalysts to travel through dimensions, after all — and the Bracer Chasers were one of her original designs. At the very end of the party, perhaps one or two piano songs away from shutdown, the simulation suddenly shuts down. The lights blink off with a systemwide shudder. After five seconds, the lights flare back to life, and the entire Arena is its default white blank slate. And a message, from username @Zarves❤Scarves, slowly blinks across the screen. Hello. I would like to play a game. And then the Arena goes dark. A. HACKER VOICE: I'M IN That little stunt isn't the only one Miss Zarves, who now has a connection to the dimension you're residing in and some of the Bureau tech, is going to pull. For the rest of your stay at the Moon Base, until you're whisked away to the next mission (Or unless you figure out a way to stop her), you may experience some of the following: Wonky simulations: You may have been traveling to the Dojo to recall a certain piece of your home world. And maybe one day, while you're minding your own business, that same simulation may suddenly appear outside the Dojo. Or perhaps you're wandering down a hallway, and you come across a mishmash of other people's simulations, torn apart and stitched back together haphazardly. Bender: As if this guy weren't a big enough mess already. If you happen to ask Bender for one of the items that were available at the party, you may instead be given food that has the opposite effect. Think cupcakes that leave behind wilted plants, mead that makes you cry uncontrollably, or energy drinks that not only do not give you literal wings, but put you straight to sleep. If you happen to have a subscription to Webflix, regardless of what movie you pick to watch, it'll pick a specific movie instead: Santa Claus Conquers the Martians. Also, you won't be able to turn it off. 3. AND THEN THINGS JUST KEEP GETTING WORSE The arena's simulation has decided to take a sabbatical, a spectral being from another plane of existence has invaded the Moon Base, and Madame Director is doing her best to keep the room calm and collected. First, the darkness needs to be handled with properly, so with a stomp of her elegant white oak staff down on the floor, a sound echoes above and beyond any panicked shouts, and soon the room is filled with dancing lights that emanate from the four cardinal directions of the arena. "Ladies and gentlemen! Excuse me. Thank you everyone for coming to this enchanted evening here with your fellow Reclaimers, but without proper lighting- Johann, Johann, please, I don't need signature music right now, this isn't a wrestling match for crying out- thank you, Johann. As I was saying- unfortunately, this evening's events will have to be---" Almost right on cue, as if there wasn't a possibly worse time in the world for this to happen, the doors of the arena bust open. Into the room swarms a dragonborn, looking rather beat up and worse for wear. It's impossible to tell if Dragonborn can cry the way humans can cry, but her amphibian-like eyes shine oddly in the colors of the magical lights surrounding the room. The Director's eyes go wide for a moment, this was rather- no, extremely, unsuspected. The Regulator approaches the Director. "We found him! Lucretia, we found him! And h-he. That son of a bitch has Killian!" And lacking in the proper finesse that's demanded of her as a leader, she rubs her forehead. "Carey, come with me to my office and we'll sort this out." She looks around the room, her Reclaimers all gathered and standing, watching this interaction take place. "Please, everyone, return to your apartments for the evening." A. TWO WEEKS UNTIL ROLLOUT The Director hasn't slept a wink throughout the night, dealing with a host of problems facing the Bureau at the moment. She consults with the clerics on how to get rid of this ridiculous joke-entity that Garfield has proliferated long enough. She speaks with Carey about all the details she can offer, attempting to calm her down, despite her unraveled state. Killian means the world to Carey, after all, and the Director, no- Lucretia, was waiting for the wedding invitation for far too long. Sometime around mid-day, the Reclaimers will receive a message on their bracer from her. Reclaimers, we will deploying in approximately two weeks. We've discovered the location of a relic that we haven't heard about in quite some time now. A full briefing will be provided at a later date, but please prepare accordingly. The area you all will be assigned to is known as the Netheril, a vast desert that splits the continent in half between the western and eastern fronts. We've instructed the tailors to offer special clothing designs that are particularly good for protection against sand and heat — at a heavily discounted price. Ensure that you have a weapon, as there's no telling what sort of beasts you can encounter out in such a wasteland. Train intensively over the next few days. We anticipate that it will be quite some time before you are able to return to Base, so please ensure that your BIAS is restocked and ready to go. Two weeks. blurb code by photosynthesis

Comments

The banquet is the star of this party

[napstar]

[ Minato is all dressed up, wearing the fancy outfit a friend chose for him. He blinks at the block of light she waves in front of him. He sticks his hand in and watches it go through. Guess it's just regular light after all? Just... really slow? She's also glowing all sorts of colors. ]

Is this a spell?

[cluelesscavewoman]

[It's still changing, she has no idea. But she does stop for a moment to watch what happens with his hand.

That was pretty boring. She's just going to reach out and try to cover his hand with hers. Okay, that didn't really do anything new. So Futayo lets go and answers.]

No. It is from the food... This is bad is it not?

[Food shouldn't do this.]

[napstar]

[ Have a light frown, not at her experimenting with his hand but because: ]

I've heard the robot chef can mess up the food sometimes. [ That confirms that this is the sort of special Bender food that Goro warned him about. And apparently this is what happens when ordering goes wrong? ]

[cluelesscavewoman]

Jud... [For a moment Futayo can only stare. Then her nods solemnly, and keeps looking at the floor.]

I asked him to try and make steak for me. But it thought I meant the tools needed for executing some nocturnal species... Now no one is allowed to ask for steak...

[Did her voice hitch during that? Maybe. But even if it didn't, she's been pretty dramatic about it.]

[napstar]

[ Minato had a similar moment of misery mixed with anger when he found out ramen flooded the cafe and was subsequently banned. The instant stuff isn't the same!

He lets her have a moment of silence for all the steaks that could have been. ]

He's terrible.

[cluelesscavewoman]

The first meal was fine and so was the meat juice. But he seems to have forgotten how to make those now.

[Fittingly(?) the lights have changed to a dull blue and green glow. Not that it really matter because she was still stood still and looking at the ground.]

[napstar]

He can forget good food? [ Nooo the burgers! Safe food might not be safe forever! He's going to be eating soup for the rest of his life! ]

[cluelesscavewoman]

I asked him for meat the first time and he gave it to me. But now he does not remember what that is.

[It had bacon and everything.]

[napstar]

He... doesn't know what meat is. [ How is meat not a safe thing to order? Who programmed Bender and forgot to define "meat" and then had the gall to make him serve food?!

Maybe Bender was meant to be a weapon and now is being forced to cook. That would explain his inability to pull it off and the frequent weaponization of his food. ]

[cluelesscavewoman]

He gives a different type of meat each time you ask. He gave me a full meal that had meat in, but I do not know that the meal is called.

[napstar]

[ Oh thank the gods. He may not be a trustworthy cook but at least Bender knows what meat is. ]

Like a beef bowl?

[ With nothing to go on except "there was meat" this is the first thing he thinks of. ]

[cluelesscavewoman]

[Scowls!]

I know what a beef bowl is. [aand the scowl is gone] They are delicious and I will try asking for one...

The meal I was given before had bacon and eggs in. When I asked again he gave me chicken juice.

[napstar]

[ Oh, scowling. Maybe he shouldn't have spit out the first thing he thought of.

He doesn't recognize the dish and he's afraid to learn what chicken juice is, so he just shrugs at her. It's the safest response. ]

[cluelesscavewoman]

I want beef bowl now. Do you know if he can make that? I have not had it since before Mikawa was destroyed.

[napstar]

Dunno. [ He's mostly been eating soup and a few things Goro told him specifically were safe, like the burgers. But a beef bowl can't be that difficult, right? ]

... Can he make rice?

[cluelesscavewoman]

I do not know. But I think so... Even I can make rice and I am bad at remembering those things.

...

...Should we ask him? [She's not afraid but what if she gets banned for two bad requests?]

[napstar]

[ Well. If they ruin beef bowls they technically haven't lost anything, right? Other than the potential for future beef bowls. Which, granted, is pretty sad. Minato hasn't made any requests yet though. Maybe he should try it... Even though he doesn't have confidence in it working out. ]

Yeah, let's ask.

[ In the middle of the party? Sure, why not. They can make it back in 10 minutes, probably. ]

[cluelesscavewoman]

[Where they leaving? But-]

What if the food here runs out before we return?

[PRIORITIES]

[napstar]

[ Gasp! She's right! Well he doubts the party would actually run out of food, but the party is limited time so he can see why she would want to stick around. Bender will be there afterwards. ]

You're right. We can do that later.

[cluelesscavewoman]

[She is making a valiant effort to eat everything!]

Is there anything else you want from him?

[napstar]

[ Ramen. But that's already been banned. ]

Nothing I can think of.

[cluelesscavewoman]

Jud, then I will try anything I can think of. I am not a lucky person, so I did not wish to ban something you would have wanted.

[napstar]

Well, we have to ask for stuff to get it. [ It won't exist unless it is ordered, so if it's banned it's technically the same as having never asked for it. Except for the additional pain of knowing you can't get it back. ]

Is it better to be banned, or to never ask?

[ Deep questions about food. ]

[cluelesscavewoman]

[Why must you do this? Futayo opens her mouth to respond but...

She can't logic.

Why do you bring logic things up?

How?

What?

She's just going to cram a sandwich in her mouth. Yes, this answers the question.]

[napstar]

[ Oh. Guess she doesn't have an opinion either way. Or she was really craving those little sandwiches. ]

Are the sandwiches good?