balance_logs | [CLOSED] two detectives and a side kick walk into a closed room

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[CLOSED] two detectives and a side kick walk into a closed room

Who: a depressed crow (

grakraka), an impersonal pigeon (

alethiological), and a really really stressed-out lion (

dialetheism) get it because lion's name is lion i can just make it lowercase and keep the metaphor intact ehehehe

Where: The Artificer's library

When: 11/29, midday

What: It's three decently smart detective types doing paperwork things and only two of them are suicidal. That's good odds!!!! Also one of them is twenty so that one's getting presents.

Content Warning: Goro Akechi

[ Lion was already informed to meet there at one, so bring that huge stack of notebooks you spent all your money on, he'll stop dunking about it if they do, promise. And after they angrily skittered off, it gave plenty of time to get Akechi's help as an extra set of hands. The stint at Fantasy Costco goes... almost quickly. Not really, they went at eleven and left at twelve thirty, but thankfully! All of it was offscreen, so Akechi can continue to pretend he's super amazing at buying gifts. The bestest.

But one large shopping bag does not require Bipedal Entity With Two Arms. It is for the more important mission. The most important. Yes, sure, it IS possible to carry multiple large to-go cups of coffee around, but with one hand? That's risky. Dropping coffee is unacceptable. It's unforgivable. You don't waste coffee. Especially not that liquid dredge from the fountain. That one is literally pure Formaldehyde Caffeine - the strongest and most sacred of elixirs.

Also Akechi means double the amount of coffee brought to the library. Excellent.

So it's 12:55 when they get there, one bag and 10 coffees between them (and two teas, because they would be immediately murdered otherwise), it has already been more than long enough where they have both slid across the friendship scale from "Hello Friend Let Us Conversate" to "Absolute Petty Bitching and Sniping". ]

Look. Spent all'a Monday and Tuesday doing some idiot blacksmith's paperwork. I'll volunteer as book gopher. I'm not doing the notes.

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[Akechi for his part is smiling pleasantly. Very pleasantly! It's just so pleasant and sweet, he seems to be in a wonderful mood—which okay he actually is—as he takes care not to spill any of the lifeblood that will keep him and Will alive for the next day.]

Note-taking is an acquired skill, so I will grant that maybe it is best not to hand it off to anyone with, ah, less than adequate skills.

I will cut off your dominant hand.

[ fuckinlittleshitsayinghispaperworkisinadequatehesmadecorpsesforlessertransgressions ]

Ah, so you want to make me less sinister.

[Now please believe the narrator when they say that Akechi hates puns.

But he also knows Will doesn't like them either.

So you know what? Yeah.]

[ In many of the ethereal, glimmering realities that dot the vast Fragment Sea, Akechi crosses a line and is subsequently beaten to death in a hilariously brutal fashion with his own severed arm. The crime scandalises the Bureau for weeks, the library was ruined forever, and Will got thrown off the moon (literally) for his horrific crime. It goes down in history as a black spot on the history of the esteemed organisation, subsequently stopping them from saving the world as they were destined to do. It is, frankly, awful. Nobody was happy ever again.

However, in this one, a miracle occurs. The blatant threat is overheard without context, and instead of death, Akechi is treated to the sound of a heavy stack of books being slowly pushed aside. And a sudden menacing presence from a nearby table.

One could be forgiven for wondering if this was, in fact, the darkest timeline. ]

Ah, I would appreciate it if you did not cause an incident that might result in the library being reclassified as a crime scene. I would hate to have to put all these books back before I finished my research.

[ s p a r k l e. ]

Also, you're late, Will. [ No he's not, Lion. You were early.

You were two fucking hours early. ]

[ There is the exact moment Akechi can see the pun hit home but it dies immediately at the voice. It quickly shifts to something that would be tentatively termed as 'fear', before it hardens into something that would probably inspire Witness-flavored memes here, but one meme in the narrative is enough.

Akechi is immediately left to be a shit, because Lion is advanced on instead. ]

We have two detectives and a rich heir, so it's already a crime scene. And I told you one in the afternoon. You, my dear, are early.

[ It is spat out like a swear word. Lion he has just spent two hours with Goro fuckin Akechi, and one of those hours was entirely with murder jokes and puns, he has no fear of you this day. Except he does, and the cardboard drink tray is set on an open table space with a care that's equal parts "also carrying a bag" and "oh god don't spill it you'll have to yeet yourself off the moon to cleanse the sin". The tone also immediately goes back to deadpan. ]

Paper cups are that tea you like.

[Goodness, they can be stern, can't they? With such a dignified, confident, entitled air, too. It's impressive. He approves. But there's something nagging at him.

Akechi sets down the things as Will fires back his own shots and the familiarity of it makes him realise something.]

Ah. So this is the sadist you're beholden to.

Edited 2018-11-30 09:47 (UTC)

-oh? I thought it was past two already.

[ Lion that's not better.

However, the offered bribe is accepted as a suitable stay of execution, and is particularly quickly advanced on to cover up any issues relating to time. There's no problem here, except, as they reach for one of the to-go cups of tea-

wait, that's Akechi, hi Akechi- wait what did he say. ]

And you're the mysterious "friend" he invited, Akechi-san? [ It's only polite to help a friend sit down, isn't it? Please ignore that they made a point of loudly pushing their chair back - and ignoring the resultant shushing from anyone else in the library - and also the fact that they're going past Will on purpose. Yes. ] I'm sorry - if I had known, I would've come with and helped carry things instead of letting you suffer alone.

[ Hi, Will. How are you doing today, Will. How's your reflexes today, Will. ]

[

oh god hes dead

Akechi doesn't even get a glance at the comment, he knows how this works. It's a shark circling blood in the water and when Lion goes to pass him, he turns around quickly to be against the table. Lion's hand freezes in place in some half-drawn position, reaching for an invisible gun. A long, deadly stare.

And he falls for the witchcraft art of misdirection, and takes an atlas upside the head.

There's a cut-off sound of pain - don't make noise it's a library fffffff - but it's mostly drowned out by the loud THWACK of book on skull. The recoil of damn that looks like it smarts is only for a handful of seconds, because the bracer gives out two bright and joyous beeps in the near-silence of the library. Thus the murder weapon is swiped from Lion's hands and he darts out of reach to sit down. ] That? That is why you're a sadist.

[ Worst partner. Though only after swiping a coffee do the words register, and the annoyance jumps up another notch. ]

Don't make it sound like I only use him for manpower. [ ..........................Wait. What if Akechi thinks he only uses him for manpower? The expression almost caves, but it goes back to Nothing, and coffee is a new deity to pray to. ]

[It has been 0 days since Akechi accidentally got Will into trouble.

In retrospect, that might have been the obvious outcome? If Lion truly is a sadist—which, yeah, looks like it—then that would have happened. But he kind of thought it was less sadistic than that. Oh well.

He's already considering trying to repay Will somehow for that slip when he catches that brief look cross Will's face. Oh. Fuck.

Akechi casually peels off one of his gloves, acting like he's moving some books when actually he touches Will. Will is likely fine but he figures that some healing hands won't make it worse.]

It's all right. I don't mind. Will has been gracious to me since we met, so it's the least I can do. But spending time with you certainly wouldn't be something I would say no to anyway.

I am not--

[ -they hiss under their breath, after brandishing a heavy book with the intent to cause grievous harm. Ahem.

Either way, Will gets another bright smile with the traditionally accompanying Look, because if they're a sadist then what the fuck does that make him, before the whole thing gets shoved back off a mental cliff. ]

Well, if you're sure, then I really would appreciate the help. [ Even if they're trying very hard not to snap again. ] The three of us working together would certainly cover more ground, at any rate. There's a lot to go through here.

[ For example: there are stacks of books around the table. And... several cheap notebooks? ]

I, ah, wasn't sure if either of you had something to write with, so I brought spares just in case.

[ There's five in all, and four - all in bright, cheerful colours, because Fantasy Costco - are scooted over to the grumpy side of the table. The last one sits open where Lion was squirrelled away - and if either of them glance over, it's noticeably full of more questions then answers. ]

Edited (needed additional foreshadowing of lion's ability to ruin lives) 2018-11-30 13:17 (UTC)

[ It doesn't click at first, so Akechi gets to witness the most subtle fight-or-flight instinct kick in. The glove being removed means the eyes snap to that action, the physical contact goes from touching a person to some kind of odd person-shaped statue, the voice is a mere recording. ]

You don't mind?

[ Two beeps. Now followed with Totally Not Microsoft Mary adding "Recharging" as a commentary. That should've been on longer-

Ah. Now it clicks. ]

That's cause I paid your tab. Don't be so obtuse next time.

[ Translation: Forgiven.

Akechi's hand is almost swatted off the now-person-again Thing he's touching, but it freezes at Lion's gesture to the notes. Those are not notes. Those are the Ur-Notes, from which all other Notes descend, that which all other Notes inspire to be. A mere Piece and mortal pale in comparison to this level of dedication, because neither of them are running from their problems that badly.

This is what depression feels like isn't it. ]

..."Adequate skills", was it?

[ Translation: akechi help we just got chumped by someone who didn't even know they were chumping us ]

[It's obvious that Will is a masochist, of course. Anyone with eyes could come to that natural conclusion. But Will forgives him and Akechi happily puts his glove back on. Sweet metaphorical and literal barrier between him and the world, be his once more.

Akechi leans in to see Lion's notes and he has to laugh.]

Student Council President.

[That's all he says. But he can feel it in his bones.]

[ Waking up today was clearly a mistake. Nothing good has come of it. ]

... I was, yes. Taking on such responsibilities was only one of the duties expected of me back home.

[ Like. On one hand, they're a bit miffed that everyone they've met in the past two-and-a-bit weeks, including Will, has been able to read them like an open book. They can't come across as that much of a stuffy priss, right?

On the other hand, spite. ]

If it's a problem, then surely the two of you will have no trouble with the archive classification system they use here. [ You know, the one designed to handle the eldritch horde of books from different realities. ] I wouldn't want to bother either of you, after all.

[ Highly accurate call-out, but bad subject. Very bad subject. But it's allowed to pass in silence. Even if most people only see the cover, the summary, maybe even the first few chapters - Lion is an open book. So Will, and by proxy his narration, find no reason to give explanation for anything to any Observers. All they and anyone else need to know is that the leg of Lion's chair is kicked, barely enough to be called tapped.

One of the other books is taken right from in front of Lion, spine compared to the atlas he was decked with previously, then both set back down in Lion's pile. ]

Keep being a bother. We're all bothers here.

[ There are many ways to take that sentence, and Lion and Akechi have all the time to parse it when he's already taking one of the members of the coffee armada and leaving his seat. ]

A variant on Colon, 'seems. Works well with fluid definitions. Might be wrong. [ It's said with the tone of amused villainy that belongs to a specific brand of heartless monster. The kind that solve code breaker puzzles in their free time. Who even has that kind of hobby? Monsters.

It is also the type of monster that throws Akechi under the cruel bus of 'cheer up the SO' before disappearing behind the shelves. ] Akechi, do your gift first. I need to find the facets.

[ You have ten minutes to complete the final exam, any mistakes will need a new Scantron sheet, Number 2 pencils only. Begin. ]

Edited 2018-12-01 08:52 (UTC)

[Interesting point to be prickly on. He just files it away for later. Though really, if he had to pick a person to compare them to, it would be Niijima. Both of them, in fact. It isn't really a bad thing, either, considering how fond he was of Sae and her no nonsense attitude and—

Oh. Sae is dead. That's right. She's actually gone after all. Well, that was the plan, but he'd kind of hoped that maybe someone like her would get out of it. Maybe she could spin it with everything she learned. Even if she wasn't a great sister, she also had the deck stacked against her years ago. He wouldn't really defend her but...

Akechi breathes out and smiles, a little softer than usual.]

My apologies for the comment. You remind me of someone, that's all. Not in a bad way, I assure you. Oh, but! [He grabs the fantasy costco bag and pushes it forward to Lion, a little embarrassed.] And sorry this isn't wrapped. I didn't know I was buying it for you. Will was rather cryptic about the whole thing but I tried to pick something you might find useful based on the limited information I had, so... Ah! Happy Birthday.

[Inside the base is a sturdy black case, the kind of thing that could fall several stories and not break. And inside that? A few basic things. A pair of sharp scissors, assorted bandages, a whistle, a handwarmer in the shape of a heart that you rub between your hands to activate and a compact, rolled up blanket that feels soft and warm.]

Sorry it isn't more, um, extensive or cohesive frankly but... [He's broke now so.]

[ Will's chair-kicking antics are huffed at in annoyance, and more time would surely be devoted to berating him for being so rude, except the whole thing gets derailed by a) the immediate flouncing and b) Akechi. ]

-eh? A gift? You... certainly didn't have to, I mean...

[ "we're all trying to survive on like one paycheck" is nearly said, but discarded immediately as their hands move on autopilot. Not rudely— they're just still in shock, having been thrown for a loop by going from "cranky brat" straight into "polite successor-sama" without anything in between. ]

I, ah, didn't expect anyone to know.

[ And the gift itself is, well.

So they're a spoiled rich brat. The narrative cannot — will not — dispute this. But every present they've ever received has been for the Ushiromiya heir, not... Lion. Properly tailored clothes from Aunt Rosa, books and bitterness from Aunt Eva, a ~~pat on the shoulder~~ lot of expectations from Krauss. And the less said about Kinzo's presents, the better. Naturally, all of it was bestowed with the appropriate familial love and well wishes, but the process became distinctly impersonal as tensions rose behind closed doors. And all of it helped to shape a mold that they would never try to deviate from, lest they risk disappointing anyone around them. A gilded cage is still a cage, after all.

This one present, given by someone who, frankly, doesn't even know them has already blown all that out of the water in comparison. ]

...This is... wonderful, Akechi-san, thank you. All of this is incredibly thoughtful.

[ Apparently some people can say stuff like that and mean every word sincerely. Who knew. ]

[ ... right, they're not the only one grieving, are they?

It's incredibly childish of them, in hindsight, and the guilt wastes no time creeping in once they get a second to think. Every Reclaimer lost everything coming here, lost everything but the clothes on their backs and maybe a friend or two if they were particularly lucky. That includes Akechi - and god, who knows what he's been through, if his Fragment already had magic before arriving here.

It's stupid. So stupid. Once again, they got lost in their own little world and ignored the people around them. ]

... ah, I'm sorry for my rudeness. [ They fiddle with the open case a bit, both out of curiosity and for something to do with their hands. It really is a splendid gift. ] It was a fair assessment to make, and it didn't deserve such a harsh response.

[ And to try and bridge the sudden awkwardness: ]

I suppose we're all on edge at the moment, in some form or another.

[ An eidetic memory without an expiration date is a crap thing sometimes. It means this moment will be perfectly preserved forever, unchanging. Book spines digging into his own, the smell of dust intermingling with reality's cheapest coffee, one voice sounding mournful and nervous, the other awestruck and thankful. A wind forged of turning pages as background music.

Perfect. Beyond perfect. So terrible with feelings, but excellent at getting them across; those precious souls that hold few falsehoods. It's why he takes them as rare friends. Something to keep close, something to strive for. It's one thing to be good at understanding someone's feelings, and another thing entirely to connect to them. Sometimes intent isn't enough. Sometimes willpower and knowledge and countless memories to reference aren't enough, either. More than anything else, Lion wouldn't have accepted those words from him. That intent didn't come across no matter how he's tried this past week. His grief isn't the kind that can connect with theirs.

But Akechi's can. Did.

Words that should've been useless, but still needed to be said, whether or not they would reach. Options: walk away and ignore it; pretend it never happened. Or face that fear of failure that Akechi just did, without even meaning to.

While Lion is still seated, absorbed by their gift, is when he walks back out in silence. That creepy kind of silence, where there should be at least the sounds of footsteps or breathing, but there's only a preternatural nothingness. Something's off about the eyes, but that's too far away to see. Still, the sensation of too-bright eyes burning into Akechi's is nearly physical, and the pose itself is perfectly clear. A single finger raised for Akechi to keep his silence, as Lion begins their apology.

One second. The arm lowers. '...Ah'
Two seconds. Fingertips rested on kneecaps. 'I'm sorry'
Three seconds. Expression disappearing towards the floor. 'For my rudeness.'

Bow at seventy degrees. Hold for three, four, five, slowly return to standing for six, seven, eight. A perfect saikeirei, manners from a culture that obviously aren't his, contrasting with the terrible speech and attitude and appearance and very existence.

It is not done out of apology.

Lion's heart spills out in short beats, clocks ticking out eleven seconds. By then, by nine, he's gone again, a veritable hallucination on Akechi's part. Even here, words were useless. But they still needed to be said.

Now then. Time to shut that part of the programming down again. New priority: there's a classification system to execute. ]

[Will what the fuck.

Truthfully, it helps that Will does that. Akechi has a natural inclination to try to cover anything like that in conversation. He wasn't really hearing it, not hearing it the way someone focused on emotions would—just facts and data to calibrate his words to. But he listens and he thinks he understands, though he isn't sure how to convey that.

'On edge' could be something he is at times and to an extent, yes he always is, but it would be more accurate to say he lacks an edge now. After walking for years on a tightrope, knowing if he fell it would truly be death, to not have that tension has him drifting. And when he drifts, he thinks, and when he thinks, he doesn't like what he has there. He's never liked it. He doesn't even want to touch it.

Akechi opens his mouth, closes it, then hesitates. After a moment, he sits down across from Lion.]

I... I didn't really lose anything. [Tempting as it is to smile, he doesn't try to cover it.] So please don't worry about treating me gently. I should have been more considerate of my words. Especially on a day that should be special, after all. So, ah... I'm also sorry.

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[CLOSED] two detectives and a side kick walk into a closed room

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skull said to skip this round

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no more editing!!!!

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i am so sorry it's apparently time for seacats prose [1/2]

choo choo all aboard [2/2]

skip me for a few loops, gotTA PUNCH A LIBRARY

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