petsthedog: (pic#12824081)
shinjiro aragaki ([personal profile] petsthedog) wrote in [community profile] balance_logs 2019-05-02 08:00 am (UTC)

Gross, no. Someone'd have to bring that mess back up there.

[He never did want to leave a mess behind; it's why the suppressants had been such an elegant solution--put an end to the immediate risk posed by his existence, and slowly fade away over time. It's an oddly morbid thing to say in response to what is, ostensibly, a joke, but he can do that with Will, too, in a way he'd never be willing to with Akamatsu or Fey.]

Anyway, I don't care if I regret it.

[He very much will, later. Right now the magic flowing through him craves the intimacy he's been denying himself for years, the honesty he can never bring himself to because it's safer and better for everyone to hold yourself apart.]

I'm tired of actin' all tough, like I don't give a shit. I give a lot of shits! About you and everybody, and I keep on tryin' to run away from it but it's stupid, right? Hell, I couldn't even tell you when I got my feelings hurt! 'Cause you didn't wanna talk about your shit! How stupid is that? I'm a fuckin' stupid idiot hypocrite.

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