Welcome Participartypants

[balancemod]

Who: All y'all nerds
Where: The Arena
When: The night of the 15th
What: A small gathering to both welcome new members to the Bureau, and to congratulate veteran Reclaimers on their successful magic mitten procurement. Dress is as fancy or as not fancy as you want it. Manners, to the degree of which you are capable, are mandatory.
Content Warning: General content warning for the Reclaimers. Also general content warning for Miss Zarves

Formal, informal, never mind the dress code. NAVIGATION It's been two weeks since the Reclaimers returned, and since the newest Reclaimers arrived. Some of you have adapted better than the Director could have hoped, and some of you have made your best efforts to find a new sense of normalcy — testing Bender the food robot to his limits, forming book clubs, training together, musing over what sort of fashions one even wears to a party. Some of you, perhaps, have spent a little bit too much time in the simulation at the Dojo. It's understandable. Adjusting to the idea that your entire universe has been destroyed takes time, and sometimes, escapes are necessary. And tonight, she's hoping to provide you with a temporary escape with this party. 1. ONCE UPON A TWO WEEKS' WEARY A. TO WASH AWAY THE ACHING BLEARY The Director, using the Moon Base's simulation technology, has turned the Arena into a ballroom to behold. The sprawling hall is decorated in ornate wooden carvings, and a large maple floor meant for dancing is encircled by tables and a large banquet table. In the corner, on a raised platform, stands a baby grand piano, freshly tuned and polished. Anyone is free to have a spin on it, if the mood strikes. At some point during the evening, Johann the Bard, violin in hand, will stand on the platform and provide a performance that could only ever be heard on the Moon Base, among members of the Bureau of Balance — because he did, after all, give this particular song to the Voidfish. If you would like something with a heavier beat, there's a tablet on the wall next to the platform, where you can make music requests of your own, from the Artificer's collection of songs from across the universe. The collection may not be all that extensive, but The Cupid Shuffle is probably in there. Get down and boogie, is what we're saying. B. THEY WERE THROWN A BANQUET CHEERY And what's on the banquet table? Snacks provided by Bender, of course — which means they could have any manner of magical effects. Here are some of the snacks available, including one that the Director was lucky enough to roll for herself. Cupcakes of every flavor imaginable, utterly delicious — so delicious, in fact, that whoever eats one will have flowers grow in their footsteps for the next two hours. The flowers are magic and disappear on their own, so go turn the dance floor into a garden (Courtesy of Lion). Mead that puts you in such a good mood, you'll be unable to resist the urge to sing in whatever measure of talent you have (Courtesy of Lancelot). An energy drink that will literally give you wings for two hours. Enjoy looking absolutely angelic for your friends (Courtesy of Akechi). Nachos that have a curiously JPG quality to them, but no other magical effects (Courtesy of Terezi). The most delicious cheeseburgers you ever did taste (Courtesy of Maya). Finger sandwiches that, when eaten, light up your entire body in an assortment of different colors — the light trails behind your movements, like the way lights look on a low shutter speed. Enjoy the raving (courtesy of The Director). 2. BUT THEN, SHE ROSE FROM THE ICHOR Some of you may have heard a thing or two about Miss Zarves — perhaps the rumors circulating around town, or the strange connection to Garfield and the Bracer Chasers some of you may have bought to decorate your Bracers. Maybe words like "catalyst" and "Ouija Board" have come up once or twice. Because there is a being trapped in a plane of existence right next to yours, largely forgotten, as if she had somehow been reverse Voidfish'd. Forgotten, that is, until the Bracer Chasers — curiously laced with high amounts of aluminadium, a word that might sound familiar to McCree and Faolan. For two years, she's waited, and watched, wanting a chance to be seen again, to speak with the Bureau herself once again, cursed with a maddening loneliness. And the second one of those cute decorations was pressed against a Bracer, Miss Zarves had it — her catalyst. She would know, after all: She was once a leading researcher on using catalysts to travel through dimensions, after all — and the Bracer Chasers were one of her original designs. At the very end of the party, perhaps one or two piano songs away from shutdown, the simulation suddenly shuts down. The lights blink off with a systemwide shudder. After five seconds, the lights flare back to life, and the entire Arena is its default white blank slate. And a message, from username @Zarves❤Scarves, slowly blinks across the screen. Hello. I would like to play a game. And then the Arena goes dark. A. HACKER VOICE: I'M IN That little stunt isn't the only one Miss Zarves, who now has a connection to the dimension you're residing in and some of the Bureau tech, is going to pull. For the rest of your stay at the Moon Base, until you're whisked away to the next mission (Or unless you figure out a way to stop her), you may experience some of the following: Wonky simulations: You may have been traveling to the Dojo to recall a certain piece of your home world. And maybe one day, while you're minding your own business, that same simulation may suddenly appear outside the Dojo. Or perhaps you're wandering down a hallway, and you come across a mishmash of other people's simulations, torn apart and stitched back together haphazardly. Bender: As if this guy weren't a big enough mess already. If you happen to ask Bender for one of the items that were available at the party, you may instead be given food that has the opposite effect. Think cupcakes that leave behind wilted plants, mead that makes you cry uncontrollably, or energy drinks that not only do not give you literal wings, but put you straight to sleep. If you happen to have a subscription to Webflix, regardless of what movie you pick to watch, it'll pick a specific movie instead: Santa Claus Conquers the Martians. Also, you won't be able to turn it off. 3. AND THEN THINGS JUST KEEP GETTING WORSE The arena's simulation has decided to take a sabbatical, a spectral being from another plane of existence has invaded the Moon Base, and Madame Director is doing her best to keep the room calm and collected. First, the darkness needs to be handled with properly, so with a stomp of her elegant white oak staff down on the floor, a sound echoes above and beyond any panicked shouts, and soon the room is filled with dancing lights that emanate from the four cardinal directions of the arena. "Ladies and gentlemen! Excuse me. Thank you everyone for coming to this enchanted evening here with your fellow Reclaimers, but without proper lighting- Johann, Johann, please, I don't need signature music right now, this isn't a wrestling match for crying out- thank you, Johann. As I was saying- unfortunately, this evening's events will have to be---" Almost right on cue, as if there wasn't a possibly worse time in the world for this to happen, the doors of the arena bust open. Into the room swarms a dragonborn, looking rather beat up and worse for wear. It's impossible to tell if Dragonborn can cry the way humans can cry, but her amphibian-like eyes shine oddly in the colors of the magical lights surrounding the room. The Director's eyes go wide for a moment, this was rather- no, extremely, unsuspected. The Regulator approaches the Director. "We found him! Lucretia, we found him! And h-he. That son of a bitch has Killian!" And lacking in the proper finesse that's demanded of her as a leader, she rubs her forehead. "Carey, come with me to my office and we'll sort this out." She looks around the room, her Reclaimers all gathered and standing, watching this interaction take place. "Please, everyone, return to your apartments for the evening." A. TWO WEEKS UNTIL ROLLOUT The Director hasn't slept a wink throughout the night, dealing with a host of problems facing the Bureau at the moment. She consults with the clerics on how to get rid of this ridiculous joke-entity that Garfield has proliferated long enough. She speaks with Carey about all the details she can offer, attempting to calm her down, despite her unraveled state. Killian means the world to Carey, after all, and the Director, no- Lucretia, was waiting for the wedding invitation for far too long. Sometime around mid-day, the Reclaimers will receive a message on their bracer from her. Reclaimers, we will deploying in approximately two weeks. We've discovered the location of a relic that we haven't heard about in quite some time now. A full briefing will be provided at a later date, but please prepare accordingly. The area you all will be assigned to is known as the Netheril, a vast desert that splits the continent in half between the western and eastern fronts. We've instructed the tailors to offer special clothing designs that are particularly good for protection against sand and heat — at a heavily discounted price. Ensure that you have a weapon, as there's no telling what sort of beasts you can encounter out in such a wasteland. Train intensively over the next few days. We anticipate that it will be quite some time before you are able to return to Base, so please ensure that your BIAS is restocked and ready to go. Two weeks. blurb code by photosynthesis

Comments

[protegge]

uh obviously???

thats such a cool line
merry christmas
thats a highlight

listen santa claus learns to embrace his dark side while still being the incarnation of joy and warmth in the midst of the darkest time of the fucking year i dont know why thats a controversial opinion ok

[iustitia]

1T'S CONTROV3RS14L B3C4US3 TH3 WHOL3 MOV13 SOUNDS L1K3 SOM3TH1NG 4 TWO SW33P OLD W1GGL3R THOUGHT SOUNDS "COOL"
1 DONT W4NT TO W4TCH 4 JOLLY OLD F4T M4N H4V3 4 WHOL3 CH4R4CT3R 4RK 4BOUT HOW 1T'S OK4Y TO B3 3DGY 4ND D4RK
1 KNOW N3XT TO NOTH1NG 4BOUT 34RTH CULTUR3 4ND 3V3N 1 KNOW S4NT4 1S TH3 WRONG GUY FOR TH4T

[protegge]

[He has no idea what several of these words are and considers being offended, but he's way too busy dying on this hill.]

thats the thing tho
it works BECAUSE hes the wrong guy for that
santas the everyman which he shouldnt be able to be cuz hes santa but hes forced to become that because of circumstances

bad things can happen to anyone even santa
EVEN SANTA STRUGGLES
i think thats fuckin inspiring

[iustitia]

BUT H1S STRUGGL3 1S SO M4NUF4CTUR3D THOUGH!!!
TH3 HOOPS TH3Y H4V3 TO JUMP THROUGH TO JUST1FY H1S D3SC3NT 1NTO GR1MD4RKN3SS 1S SO CONVOLUT3D 4ND NONS3NS1C4L
1T'D B3 ON3 TH1NG 1F H3 H4D PROBL3MS TH4T 3V3RYON3 COULD R3L4T3 TO
1 KNOW 1'V3 H4D TO W31GH TH3 PROS 4ND CONS OF MURD3R1NG 4 GUY BUT 1S TH4T SOM3TH1NG R34LLY YOU W4NN4 S33 S4NT4 WORK THROUGH???

[protegge]

weve established that yes i do

idk tho the way i see it is that hes the prime example of somebody whos never struggled before
hes always just ho ho ho'd his way thru life
can u imagine if all you did for all your endless life was make kids happy and then suddenly you had to defend the planet

thats so much responsibility for a jolly old fat man

[iustitia]

BUT WHY DO3S S4NT4 KNOW KUNG FU!!!!
1T'S N3V3R 3XPL41N3D!!!!!!!!!
H3 H4S H1S 3P1PH4NY 4ND TH3N 1MM3D14T3LY ST4RTS POPP1NG C4PS 1N P3OPL3 4ND SUPL3X1NG 4L13NS

[protegge]

maybe when you have a lifechanging moment u learn kung fu in that moment

that would be so cool