Welcome Participartypants

[balancemod]

Who: All y'all nerds
Where: The Arena
When: The night of the 15th
What: A small gathering to both welcome new members to the Bureau, and to congratulate veteran Reclaimers on their successful magic mitten procurement. Dress is as fancy or as not fancy as you want it. Manners, to the degree of which you are capable, are mandatory.
Content Warning: General content warning for the Reclaimers. Also general content warning for Miss Zarves

Formal, informal, never mind the dress code. NAVIGATION It's been two weeks since the Reclaimers returned, and since the newest Reclaimers arrived. Some of you have adapted better than the Director could have hoped, and some of you have made your best efforts to find a new sense of normalcy — testing Bender the food robot to his limits, forming book clubs, training together, musing over what sort of fashions one even wears to a party. Some of you, perhaps, have spent a little bit too much time in the simulation at the Dojo. It's understandable. Adjusting to the idea that your entire universe has been destroyed takes time, and sometimes, escapes are necessary. And tonight, she's hoping to provide you with a temporary escape with this party. 1. ONCE UPON A TWO WEEKS' WEARY A. TO WASH AWAY THE ACHING BLEARY The Director, using the Moon Base's simulation technology, has turned the Arena into a ballroom to behold. The sprawling hall is decorated in ornate wooden carvings, and a large maple floor meant for dancing is encircled by tables and a large banquet table. In the corner, on a raised platform, stands a baby grand piano, freshly tuned and polished. Anyone is free to have a spin on it, if the mood strikes. At some point during the evening, Johann the Bard, violin in hand, will stand on the platform and provide a performance that could only ever be heard on the Moon Base, among members of the Bureau of Balance — because he did, after all, give this particular song to the Voidfish. If you would like something with a heavier beat, there's a tablet on the wall next to the platform, where you can make music requests of your own, from the Artificer's collection of songs from across the universe. The collection may not be all that extensive, but The Cupid Shuffle is probably in there. Get down and boogie, is what we're saying. B. THEY WERE THROWN A BANQUET CHEERY And what's on the banquet table? Snacks provided by Bender, of course — which means they could have any manner of magical effects. Here are some of the snacks available, including one that the Director was lucky enough to roll for herself. Cupcakes of every flavor imaginable, utterly delicious — so delicious, in fact, that whoever eats one will have flowers grow in their footsteps for the next two hours. The flowers are magic and disappear on their own, so go turn the dance floor into a garden (Courtesy of Lion). Mead that puts you in such a good mood, you'll be unable to resist the urge to sing in whatever measure of talent you have (Courtesy of Lancelot). An energy drink that will literally give you wings for two hours. Enjoy looking absolutely angelic for your friends (Courtesy of Akechi). Nachos that have a curiously JPG quality to them, but no other magical effects (Courtesy of Terezi). The most delicious cheeseburgers you ever did taste (Courtesy of Maya). Finger sandwiches that, when eaten, light up your entire body in an assortment of different colors — the light trails behind your movements, like the way lights look on a low shutter speed. Enjoy the raving (courtesy of The Director). 2. BUT THEN, SHE ROSE FROM THE ICHOR Some of you may have heard a thing or two about Miss Zarves — perhaps the rumors circulating around town, or the strange connection to Garfield and the Bracer Chasers some of you may have bought to decorate your Bracers. Maybe words like "catalyst" and "Ouija Board" have come up once or twice. Because there is a being trapped in a plane of existence right next to yours, largely forgotten, as if she had somehow been reverse Voidfish'd. Forgotten, that is, until the Bracer Chasers — curiously laced with high amounts of aluminadium, a word that might sound familiar to McCree and Faolan. For two years, she's waited, and watched, wanting a chance to be seen again, to speak with the Bureau herself once again, cursed with a maddening loneliness. And the second one of those cute decorations was pressed against a Bracer, Miss Zarves had it — her catalyst. She would know, after all: She was once a leading researcher on using catalysts to travel through dimensions, after all — and the Bracer Chasers were one of her original designs. At the very end of the party, perhaps one or two piano songs away from shutdown, the simulation suddenly shuts down. The lights blink off with a systemwide shudder. After five seconds, the lights flare back to life, and the entire Arena is its default white blank slate. And a message, from username @Zarves❤Scarves, slowly blinks across the screen. Hello. I would like to play a game. And then the Arena goes dark. A. HACKER VOICE: I'M IN That little stunt isn't the only one Miss Zarves, who now has a connection to the dimension you're residing in and some of the Bureau tech, is going to pull. For the rest of your stay at the Moon Base, until you're whisked away to the next mission (Or unless you figure out a way to stop her), you may experience some of the following: Wonky simulations: You may have been traveling to the Dojo to recall a certain piece of your home world. And maybe one day, while you're minding your own business, that same simulation may suddenly appear outside the Dojo. Or perhaps you're wandering down a hallway, and you come across a mishmash of other people's simulations, torn apart and stitched back together haphazardly. Bender: As if this guy weren't a big enough mess already. If you happen to ask Bender for one of the items that were available at the party, you may instead be given food that has the opposite effect. Think cupcakes that leave behind wilted plants, mead that makes you cry uncontrollably, or energy drinks that not only do not give you literal wings, but put you straight to sleep. If you happen to have a subscription to Webflix, regardless of what movie you pick to watch, it'll pick a specific movie instead: Santa Claus Conquers the Martians. Also, you won't be able to turn it off. 3. AND THEN THINGS JUST KEEP GETTING WORSE The arena's simulation has decided to take a sabbatical, a spectral being from another plane of existence has invaded the Moon Base, and Madame Director is doing her best to keep the room calm and collected. First, the darkness needs to be handled with properly, so with a stomp of her elegant white oak staff down on the floor, a sound echoes above and beyond any panicked shouts, and soon the room is filled with dancing lights that emanate from the four cardinal directions of the arena. "Ladies and gentlemen! Excuse me. Thank you everyone for coming to this enchanted evening here with your fellow Reclaimers, but without proper lighting- Johann, Johann, please, I don't need signature music right now, this isn't a wrestling match for crying out- thank you, Johann. As I was saying- unfortunately, this evening's events will have to be---" Almost right on cue, as if there wasn't a possibly worse time in the world for this to happen, the doors of the arena bust open. Into the room swarms a dragonborn, looking rather beat up and worse for wear. It's impossible to tell if Dragonborn can cry the way humans can cry, but her amphibian-like eyes shine oddly in the colors of the magical lights surrounding the room. The Director's eyes go wide for a moment, this was rather- no, extremely, unsuspected. The Regulator approaches the Director. "We found him! Lucretia, we found him! And h-he. That son of a bitch has Killian!" And lacking in the proper finesse that's demanded of her as a leader, she rubs her forehead. "Carey, come with me to my office and we'll sort this out." She looks around the room, her Reclaimers all gathered and standing, watching this interaction take place. "Please, everyone, return to your apartments for the evening." A. TWO WEEKS UNTIL ROLLOUT The Director hasn't slept a wink throughout the night, dealing with a host of problems facing the Bureau at the moment. She consults with the clerics on how to get rid of this ridiculous joke-entity that Garfield has proliferated long enough. She speaks with Carey about all the details she can offer, attempting to calm her down, despite her unraveled state. Killian means the world to Carey, after all, and the Director, no- Lucretia, was waiting for the wedding invitation for far too long. Sometime around mid-day, the Reclaimers will receive a message on their bracer from her. Reclaimers, we will deploying in approximately two weeks. We've discovered the location of a relic that we haven't heard about in quite some time now. A full briefing will be provided at a later date, but please prepare accordingly. The area you all will be assigned to is known as the Netheril, a vast desert that splits the continent in half between the western and eastern fronts. We've instructed the tailors to offer special clothing designs that are particularly good for protection against sand and heat — at a heavily discounted price. Ensure that you have a weapon, as there's no telling what sort of beasts you can encounter out in such a wasteland. Train intensively over the next few days. We anticipate that it will be quite some time before you are able to return to Base, so please ensure that your BIAS is restocked and ready to go. Two weeks. blurb code by photosynthesis

Comments

[blodsvorr]

[Shinjiro isn't seeing him. He is seeing someone else, or many someones, Qrow doesn't know. He is seeing his past. Of course he is, this simulation is making him see it. That's what it has done to them both.

But Qrow stands his ground, scythe set in the ground. He can't let Shinji get trapped in the memory.]

Aragaki. Look at me. You're not going to get me hurt, and this isn't going to be a repeat of what happened here before. We're both going to get out of this okay.

[petsthedog]

[Shinjiro hears him, of course, but it's only so much white noise between his ears. The responsibility he's been feeling ever since waking up at the Bureau's been a weight on his back, threatening to prevent him from standing up each day, and right now he feels all but pinned against the ground, without enough air to even breathe.

Qrow says he won't be hurt, but how does he know? The only way to be sure would be with the pills, and he doesn't have them anymore. Lost in the multiversal transit, maybe. He'd even avoided SEES for two years, kept himself out of the fight because he didn't want to do more harm than good, and all of them had Personas to fight back with. Hell, the fact that they did was the only reason he could even think about letting himself touch his Evoker ever again.]

You don't get it! You--it ain't just about the Shadows. I'm a danger too.

[blodsvorr]

[It isn't the time or the place, but maybe it isn't: here in a simulation, with the medics just a building away, not out there in the field where Shinji could get himself or someone else hurt. So Qrow goes for it, expression set.]

Because you hurt someone, right?

[No. Qrow sees it then, in the response on Shinji's face. He knows that look. His voice softens.]

You killed them.

[petsthedog]

[Goddamn it. He didn't want to explain himself here. He didn't want to explain himself ever, really, and Qrow hadn't pushed him when he said he didn't want to kill anyone and hadn't asked him to summon Castor. He'd been doing okay, dragging himself to combat class and getting through each day even when it was a trial to want to get up in the morning.

Now they're here, in the midst of this mess, and Shinjiro realizes on some level that a simulation can't possibly be as dangerous as the real Dark Hour, but the simulation's outside of the Dojo and either magic or a ghost (???) is possibly involved and he doesn't know how those things intersect. He hasn't been in the habit of carrying a weapon around just walking around the Moon Base and now all he's got to defend himself with is a Persona that isn't simulated.

He can't look at Qrow while he's having this conversation, though. Can't stand that sympathetic expression in his eyes like he's the one who deserves it. Aki and Mitsuru gave him those sad looks too, back then, and he hates it now as much as he hated it then. He stares pointedly at the ground as he takes a shaky breath.]

My Persona's unstable, for some reason. I could lose control, and you ain't got a Persona to fight back with, if I do.

[blodsvorr]

Kid, an unlucky accident isn't going to be what kills me. You can trust me on that.

[Misfortune will come to him in another way, he thinks. It will be a death he can't prevent, or a terrible mistake that he makes. It will not be something as guiltless and easy as someone else making a mistake. When his Semblance finally ends his life for good, the fault will all be his own.

The only way out is forward. Qrow needs to get Shinji out. So he pushes him again, as he hadn't in that classroom before.]

Show me your Persona.

[petsthedog]

[An unlucky accident. That should be the kind of language you use for someone who broke another person's phone or ruined a favorite piece of clothing. Something small and inconsequential. He's so tired of hearing the word "accident" and how it wasn't his fault. As if he hadn't been told from the beginning his Potential was weaker than Aki's, but he'd insisted so he could watch his oldest friend's back when he threw himself into danger. Sure, they didn't know it'd mean he'd lose control and Castor would go on a rampage, or that that was even a possibility, but he's never been able to forgive himself. Shouldn't, in his opinion. What right did he have to move on, when Amada never could? When his mother was gone forever?]

No.

[He'd already decided, by the time he came out the other side of that initiation test, that he was going to do this without his Persona unless he was in a position where he had absolutely no other choice.]

Not unless we run into a Shadow.

[blodsvorr]

[It's stubbornness, the kind you can't get through. Qrow knows that kind. And he knows the guilt of a death you cause. To Shinji, an unlucky accident is too small to describe what happened. For Qrow, it is the perfect term for carrying guilt. Every unlucky accident that has ever happened around him has had someone to blame.

Qrow is still looking at him, dead set and unflinching, here under a sickened sky. He has to reach him somehow.]

Then tell me how your Persona works.

[petsthedog]

[Shinjiro sighs. Qrow means well, clearly -- and it's kind of new, actually, for an adult to care this much -- but he doesn't get it.]

You're trying to understand why it happened, right? I can't tell you what I don't know myself. The others already told you the basics, didn't they? That they're manifestations of our souls or whatever? That's all I've got.

[blodsvorr]

So what you're telling me is your soul killed someone.

[He knows it will be a slap in the face. And maybe it's a mistake, but Qrow has never had the spark the others had—Tai's firm kindness, the soft strength of Summer's love, Oz's supportive faith. Qrow cannot be that. He is only himself, blunt and cursed and trying to get through.]

I'm not telling you to get over the guilt. You're going to live with that forever, and I'm not going to lie and say it'll get easier, either. But if you keep going the way you are now, you're only going to end up with more weight on your back.

[petsthedog]

[More weight, huh. If Shinjiro were the laughing type, he might have. He can't imagine carrying more weight than he is right now. It's not just Amada's mom anymore, it's everyone. His entire goddamn world, all of SEES except its leader. Shinji hasn't felt the need to be a hero in years, but now he has no choice. He didn't even get to fucking die properly.]

Like what?

[Live with the guilt, that's really rich, isn't it.]

I could use Castor fine at first. I don't know why it happened. Nobody does. Whatever weight you think I'll be carrying, it can't be more than the weight that'd come from putting people at risk intentionally just to figure that out.

1/2

[blodsvorr]

[Qrow rolls his eyes, and maybe he shouldn't, but he keeps pushing. He needs Shinji to understand.]

Right, because when you go into the field and freak out like you did just now, you're not gonna notice the difference when yet another death gets stacked on your back.

[blodsvorr]

[Fuck. He's fucking this up. He has no idea what he's doing, he's not Tai, he's not Summer, he's making things worse. He always makes things worse. Qrow steps back, running a hand through his hair. He can't do this. It should be Oz in his place.]

I wasn't trying to get you to summon your Persona because you need to know how to use it, Aragaki. I was trying to get you to summon that thing to get you to stop reliving what happened. I've smacked Loki around often enough to know you're not going to be able to pull off killing me with Castor without meaning it.

[petsthedog]

[It doesn't have the effect Qrow was looking for. It pisses him off, actually, and he's struggling enough with the stress of everything here that he doesn't manage to push it down this time, or remind himself that Qrow means well.

He grabs at the older man's collar, suddenly, yanking him down to get in his face. He growls--]

No, because I ain't gonna use my Persona in a goddamn fight! I don't even want to use it here, but I don't know what'll happen to you if I don't!

[He doesn't even quite realize what he just revealed about himself in that little comment. He lets Qrow go, breathing hard, before he pushes away from him, fists clenched at his side.]

If I ever summon him on the field, it'll only be for the kinda emergency where people will die without him. I ain't some little kid whose hand you need to hold cause he's scared. I've thought about it.

[blodsvorr]

[It isn't surprising, and he doesn't flinch. he has a point he's trying to make, and he isn't dropping it.]

Yeah? Then what the Hell just happened here when you shouted at your combat teacher to stay back in a fight? It doesn't matter if you summon Castor or not, it's still messing you up. And you might not care if you die when we hit the ground in two weeks, but I do! And sorry, kid, but you'll have to deal with the consequences of that, because dying doesn't stick here. You don't get a choice except to live with the consequences, so let me help you avoid them in the first place.

[petsthedog]

[He's all but opening his mouth to argue, to say that the Dark Hour doesn't exist anywhere else and this is different, that he has a plan--but then Qrow says that, and it pretty much instantly short-circuits Shinji's entire brain.]

...What?

[He heard that wrong. Didn't he? He had to have.]

[blodsvorr]

[Well. He knew it was a risk telling Shinji that. But the secret wasn't going to stay under wraps for long.]

The medics here can bring people back from death. As long as they have the bracer, from what I can tell. It isn't pretty, and you don't always come back all in one piece.

cw: suicidal ideation, references to past suicidal behavior

[petsthedog]

[There's a long, long silence. Shinjiro just stares at Qrow like he's gone mad, but really, he feels like the one who has. Because that's hilarious, isn't it? The irony is just so goddamn thick he can't even imagine it could be a coincidence. He sinks slowly to the ground with a soft thwump before he curls inward, burying his face in his hands.

Because Qrow doesn't know, he couldn't possibly know that these last two years, he'd been charging full-speed toward death without looking back. He cut himself off from everyone and everything when he started taking the suppressants, in the hopes he could die quietly in some alley by himself and nobody would ever miss him. The only reason he ever came back to SEES was because the kid of the woman he'd killed had joined, and he felt he owed it to Amada, as the person who'd ruined his life, to see to it that he didn't lose it.

And when he finally died, it hadn't been how he wanted--had been surrounded by the distraught faces of his old friends and new acquaintances from his team but it had been an ending, and he could finally, finally be done.

The Hunger had snatched that away, but even though he felt overwhelmed by this second chance he didn't want, he'd tried to take it in stride -- told himself he'd keep on going until his body gave out again. He wouldn't run away from the obligation to bring Amada and their world back, but he was so tired.

Now? He realizes he was wrong earlier, when he thought there wasn't any more weight to carry, because that new revelation presses down on his chest and he feels like he can't breathe. He doesn't know what to do with the idea that he doesn't have an expiration date anymore, that he just has to....keep doing this, for however long it takes. He's not Aki; the get up and go in him got up and left a long time ago, and Shinjiro's just been dragging along a carcass in its wake. He lets out a shaky breath.]

...Shit.

[blodsvorr]

[Qrow's eyes widen as the kid falls. He puts away Harbinger and drops down in front of him; he doesn't expect Shinji to look up, and he reaches out to his shoulder, then stops. Contact always increases the risk of bad luck. So he should reach out with his voice, but what can he say?

There's nothing. He just kneels there in front of Shinji, not knowing what to do.]

[petsthedog]

[It takes a minute. Maybe a couple, but eventually, Shinji remembers Qrow is there. Remembers where they are, and that Qrow shouldn't be here, in the Dark Hour, and the argument they were just having about it. An argument that doesn't matter, anymore, if they don't stay dead.

He pulls out his Evoker and brings it to his temple, but his hand shakes on pulling the trigger.]

Cas....

[He can't do it. His voice fades in his throat, though he doesn't lower his hand. He's trying, even though he hasn't even gotten up off the floor yet.]

[blodsvorr]

[It sends a jolt of panic through him, even knowing what it does. And despite his fears of his Semblance, Qrow puts his hand on top of Shinji's. On the hand holding the gun. If Shinji will let him, he'll pull the gun back down.]

Kid...

[He still can't find the words, but at least he wants to stop this.]

[petsthedog]

[He doesn't resist. The Evoker comes back down, and he just stares hollowly at the older man, but he does seem to settle, after a bit. Having that expectation to summon removed helps.

He pulls his stare to the ground, then. He's embarrassed, honestly, that he had this entire meltdown in front of someone he barely knows. Nobody else needs to deal with this bullshit--it's his to carry, and he doesn't have the right to feel sorry for himself.]

...Sorry. Shouldnt've yelled at you.

[blodsvorr]

It's my bad. I, uh... well, let's just say there were people in my world who would have been better for this.

[Unfortunately, Qrow lived, and they didn't. So Shinji gets Qrow's haphazard, shitty efforts.]

[petsthedog]

[This is awkward. Shinji rubs at the back of his neck, still pointedly not looking at the older man.]

Look, there ain't ever been...anyone who tried, so.

[He rolls a shoulder in a half-shrug. They'd had caretakers in the orphanage, of course, and then there was the chairman of SEES, who provided supplies and information for missions, but no adults had ever taken any kind of personal interest in him, or attempted to help him. Also the chairman is a huge traitor who wants to end the world but luckily for Shinji he died before he had to go through that particular betrayal.]

[blodsvorr]

So I'm doing better than nothing. Sure, I'll take it.

[The joke is meant to relax Shinji a little. He kind of grimaces at it right after he says it, though.]

[petsthedog]

[It'd be funny, but he feels a little bad, too. Qrow sat with him while he was having a god damn existential crisis. That's not what he wants to call "better than nothing".]

I just mean--I dunno how this works anyway. Ain't even been to school in two years.

[And, well. It's not like anyone bothered to hunt him down when he stopped coming, or encourage him to come back, or seek help, or any of the things adults should be doing for kids that are suffering.]