Mm.

[He tries to think how best to word it. He would hate to, well, dump a bunch of things on her. But he also wants to answer things more honestly now when he can.]

The best way to put it would be... before, almost up until the end, I was still on a... bad path. But it has been one I'd wanted to change for some time now but had been unable to for various reasons. So I suppose, now that the chance was rather abruptly given to me, I've lost my footing. I never really planned for this.