[if he knew that this was now being framed as a learning experience, he might feel slightly mom'd at, even though he never actually met his own mom, and wouldn't know what that's like.]

Yeah, I've totally got this. [ah, hubris.] I'd rather not add any other weird paradoxes while I'm here, so I need to get 'em out anyway.

[2B, please enjoy watching Dave make an ass of himself trying to dislodge the knitting needles like they're mini Excaliburs. he's trying his best! and he's fairly strong. but for the time being, they just ain't budging.]